NYU Tisch School of the Arts - Review "How We Define Creative Entrepreneur"

Review "How We Define Creative Entrepreneur"above
(tisch.nyu.edu/clive-davis-institute/application-requirements/institute-notes-on-entrepreneurship).
In your Statement of Intent, clearly identify which of these seven entrepreneur types you hope to become as you progress in your career. Based on your experiences so far, what kinds of skills do you possess - or do you hope to develop - that will allow you to succeed as your chosen type of entrepreneur?

2 pages, double-spaced, .pdf format"

Below is my first paragraph, and this is the first time I'm writing one of these types of essays. How is it? Any constructive criticism will be much appreciated:

Throughout my career, I hope to become a producer, performer, and executive entrepreneur. Being an artist nowadays require being intricate and multi-layered. In the past, most people in the music industry were entitled to one specific task, whether it would be songwriting, performing, or the many other professions in the field. At this point in time, we can evidently see that the industry evolved from that procedure. Artists today take more responsibilities by creating their own labels, writing their own lyrics, and producing their own songs. Cultural giants like Kanye West and Drake are dominant figures of this contemporary artistry. Considering this, I am convinced that being a multi-layered artist is necessary in pursuance of commercial success, and I intend to do just that.

Andrew, you are off to a good start with the essay. I can understand why you chose that particular description for yourself. This being only the first paragraph, you can explain what kind of influences have affected your decision to pursue this line of study. I hope though, that you will not concentrate the essay solely on the way other more successful people have run their careers.

In the succeeding paragraphs, try to explain where your early interest in this line came from. Before you learned that celebrities were making their money through branding their names, what made you think that you wanted to do this for yourself? Use that paragraph to set up your succeeding conversations. Make sure to represent yourself with each paragraph.

Create an image for yourself based upon the criteria presented in the video. Always present early evidence of this character within you. It is kind of hard to issue more complex and complete advice based upon your first paragraph alone. So I hope you can go farther with your written work and present to us the first draft when you can. That way we can better assist you in directing the content and focus of your essay.

Just know that you are on the right track with your essay. We are all looking forward to your follow through on it. I for one, am sure it is going to be very interesting to read.

Thanks for the feedback! As I write my next few paragraphs, I'll consider what you said about influences and presenting my character to the reader. I will update when I finish writing the first draft. Thanks again!

- Being an artist nowadays require beingsomeone to be intricate...
- ...and multi-layeredmult- dimensional .
- At this point in time , we can...
- Today artists today take more responsibilities by creating their own labels,
- CulturalMusic giants like Kanye West..
- I am convinced that being a multi-layeredtalented artist...

Well, as a creative person, you definitely should have a lot of creative juices in order to take on the higher stakes of this very challenging industry, not only will you have long nights of squeezing your brains out for could- be, would-be ideas, you also need to make sure that you stand out, you are second to none and of course make sure that you keep your ideas safe and protected from plagiarism.

I hope my remarks help in enhancing your essay.