An odd group of friends- Brown University Supplement Essay

We all exist within communities or groups of various sizes, origins, and purposes; pick one and tell us why it is important to you, and how it has shaped you.(150 word limit).

I decided to write about my circle of friends...is it too light hearted and shallow? I feel like there is no substance to the essay. Critique accordingly

I hear the piercing sound of the school bell signaling lunch. With astonishing speed, I pack my books and run down the stairs. Lunch break is my favorite time of the day, because it's the when I can spend time with my crazy band of friends (and eat lasagna).

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I really like your essay. I'm applying to Brown myself, and see my chances dim before you haha. Wish i had a bit of creative mind like you. Some grammatical things aside, i think your short answer is pretty much good to go.

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I hear the piercing sound of the school bell, signaling lunch. With astonishing speed, I pack my books and run down the stairs. I love the lunch break because I can spend time with my crazy band of friends (and eat lasagna).

To many outsiders, we're an odd mix of people. A prospective economics major sits sandwiched between a future surgeon and a biomedical engineer. A Coldplay worshiper eats peacefully with an advent anti-Chris Martin activist. (i don't know if you want to leave Coldplay in there; I had no idea what Coldplay was, and admissions officer might not either)

This table, packed with the quirkiest students in my school, means more to me than a box of assorted Godiva chocolates. This is where my individualism is welcomed rather than shunned. We learn from each other, developing more textured identities with each interaction. From them I have learned to appreciate who someone is, not what.

Maybe end with this sentence instead? === "I become more and more appreciative of the cultured environment I am graced to live in, and I look forward to an even more vivid community at Brown.

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Well, good luck, to both you and me. These essays are stressful :( What degree are you majoring at Brown? Mine would be Chemistry and maybe Mathmatics

Instead of this general description of who the members of the group are, you have to talk about why this group is important to you and your development as a person. Don't waste your time setting up the lunch scenario. Just tell us who your friends are and why they are important to you. Develop the learning and growth that happens within the group and the kind of influence you have over one another. What makes this eclectic group work? That is what we want to know about :-) So tell us more about how this group works and why it works for you in particular.