One arabesque, two turns. Ballet - Extracurricular Essay

The limit is 150 words, and the prompt is to elaborate on an extracurricular activity.
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One arabesque, two turns.

Sweat pours of my forehead as I stretch my right arm out in front of me. Gazing through the tips of my fingers, a loose curl falls free from my tight bun. As I adjust my posture, I slide my left foot along the floor launching into a jump with both feet meeting together in mid air. Landing with both feet in third position on the floor, I bow to say thank you and smile at my instructor.

Coach Nadia applauds, smiling back at me as she walks over to the stereo to stop the music. "Your assemblè was very smooth, you can move on to the Pirouette"

Over the past six years, Ballet has been a significant part of my life, not just in terms of time but from an emotional standpoint too. When I dance, I feel like I've finally figured it all out even though I know the feeling won't last past the end of the music. When I dance, I pour all that I am into my performance so that those who watch me catch a glimpse of who I am. The first time I started to dance, the awkward child I was began to slowly blossom into a confident, self-expressive woman. Through Ballet I have formed strong bonds with other dancers, and met my best friend Meriam.

One arabesque, two turns. I walk over to my friends to start practicing together for our Pirouette.

You gracefully led me through the essay and your words were, indeed, like the swift, fluid like movement of a ballerina. I can feel that ballet is your passion and that you're good at it too! Perfection :)

I tightened your essay and came up with 147 words. I hope you will like this suggested edit I did for you :-)

I stretch my right arm out in front of me. A loose curl falls free from my tight bun. I slide my left foot along the floor launching into a jump with both feet meeting together in mid air. Landing with both feet in third position on the floor, I bow to say thank you and smile at my instructor.

Ballet has been a significant part of my life, not just in terms of time but from an emotional standpoint. When I dance, I am at peace and in nirvana even though I know the feeling won't last past the end of the music. I pour all that I am into my performance so that those who watch me catch a glimpse of who I am. The first time I started to dance, the awkward child I was began to slowly blossom into a confident, self-expressive woman.