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One day I was juggling a tennis ball



nanosuit 4 / 8  
Nov 28, 2013   #1
UC Prompt#2:Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

One of the many things that i am grateful to have been gifted with is curiosity.I would question any and everything and unless i got a satisfactory answer,which was very rare,I wouldn't rest.I started this epoch of curiosity by asking "How far does the bay of bengal stretch?".Answers like 'Its the end'...'There's nothing beyond the oceans' were common.But i was told about Earth being spherical so ocean stretching to infinity was unsettling.Then my focus drifted towards the stars.Celestial bodies seized my interest;I started studying astronomy.I became fascinated and undoubtedly, my curiosity caught blackholes and supernovae.

I was curious about how a vending machine worked so when i was about 13 i made a mechanical,miniature vending machine all by myself.I mentally rendered the mechanism and it worked.A coin of sufficient mass would go into the slot and a chocolate bar would wind up on a receptacle at the bottom.From the outside it looked like a mere box but when peeked inside a lot was going on.There were two planks pivoted in the middle and one end of the smaller was on top of the larger one while the other end had the chocolate bars.The coin would fall on the larger plank making it rotate about the pivot.Since both planks were connected,tilting one would tilt the other.I had applied principle of moments without even realizing it.

One day I was juggling a tennis ball as i rode my bicycle.I suddenly realized that since the ball went up,since i was riding forward,the ball should fall somewhere behind me(exactly where i flung it from),instead,even being in air,it moved with me and the bicycle.I eventually tried this in a moving car.When i deliberately threw it up right in front of my face i expected the ball to hit me since the ball moved up as the car moved forward;it didnt.I was discombobulated by that.Only much later when i studied relative motion did i understand that phenomenon.

I was curious about how mathematical formulae worked so I started researching about them.When i couldn't figure out a problem I'd get curious and spend the whole day figuring it out .Curiosity taught me maths!

Is it good enough?

Please check my grammer,punctuation and structure.

iluvchocalate13 4 / 7  
Nov 28, 2013   #2
I was curious about how mathematical formulae worked so I started researching about them.When iI couldn't figure out a problem I'd get curious and spend the whole day figuring it out .Curiosity taught me maths! <----?????? Curiosity taught me to understand math???

Comments: First of all and most importantly , you need to answer the question clearly. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?Also, your essay is kind of all over the place? You just keep on jumping from point to point, saying you're curious about the Bay of Bengal, astronomy, vending machines and then the tennis ball...For the intro, maybe just focus on being curious about the Bay of Bengal..be really specific. Say why being curious makes you proud and how it relates to who you are. Be really specific when you're talking about the vending machine and the tennis incident. You don't have to include a bunch of stuff to show you are curious, just one or two examples would be fine but be really specific like get the readers to see through your eyes using like imagery...You also need a good conclusion that wraps everything up...I would suggest you don't talk about the math formula part? unless you can somehow tie that in w/ your conclusion...


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