So, what do you guys think of my essay? Any comment helps; I just want to know how I'm doing.
We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors caused you to grow? (800 word limit)
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She exited the doctor's office with a smile. She hurriedly got on a rickshaw and rushed home. When she arrived at the grim, broken-down, one room apartment, she called her husband, thinking he would be as delighted as she was at the news. "It's a girl!" She exclaimed, and, without a response, he hung up. She didn't realize what had just happened, but when he didn't come home for three days, she understood. He didn't want this unborn child; he didn't want me.
When my mother first conceived me, my father refused to take her to the doctor, claiming his financial situation was at a rut. Five months into the pregnancy, my mother had still not visited the doctor, but had contracted the chicken pox. Since she knew her husband wasn't going to take her, she went by herself to her cousin's office. Luckily, being a physician, the cousin was able to give her medicine and advise she get a sonogram. This was the first time my mother found out the gender of her baby.
When I was born, my mother's family was thrilled. They believed that the first baby being a girl was extremely fortunate. However, my own grandmother, my father's mother, did not come see me when I was first born. She, and my father, did not want to hold me the first few months, disappointed with my gender and already disappointed with me.
At six months, I was taken to Japan, so my father could complete his PhD. We left the polluted and bustling city of Dhaka, Bangladesh, and entered the suburban city of Kagawa, Japan. In Kagawa, I was able to have an almost-perfect childhood. I captured the hearts of everyone who had five minutes with me. All my father's friends came to our house just to see me, hold me, and play with me. When my mother took me with her to the grocery store, people would stop her, telling her what a beautiful toddler I was. My Japanese neighbors would come to our apartment, with gift bags full of Barbie's, little cars, and candy. Even at such a young age, I was able to delight everyone around me, except my father.
My mother, always loving me even when my dad didn't, made sure I would grow up to an intelligent and successful woman. During elementary school, every day when I came home, my mother would go over everything I had learned that day. She would make sure I did all my homework correctly, and gave me new homework so I would be prepared for anything. When I arrived in the United States, I skipped third grade and went straight to fourth. My mother worked with me, so I would be successful with my studies here too. She established a routine for me during elementary school that I still follow now, as a senior who will graduate at the top of her class. During middle school, I started being independent and realized I didn't need her help in school anymore. I somehow knew everything, and knew how to do everything. Nothing was a challenge for me academically, and it was all due to my mother's belief in my abilities.
After I finished freshmen year in high school, my counselor called me to her office, informing me I was ranked number one of my class. I was stunned. Me? The smartest of my class? No way, I thought. When I arrived home that day, I found out that my counselor had called my father to tell him the good news. He finally looked at me as I was his daughter. For the first time in my life, I caught his attention and I could see he was proud of me.
However, this feeling was short-lived. After a few months, my father began to doubt I could still keep my position throughout my high school career. He doubted my capabilities. He doubted I could become a successful doctor, my dream and my goal in life. He doubted everything I did, so I started doubting myself. The only one that kept believing in me was my mother. She didn't listen to his concerns that I was increasing my hopes to be crushed when reality hit. She believed I could do anything, be anything. And she began to make me believe it, too.
My mother was right about me. Today, as a senior, I am still ranked number one of my class. I am undefeated and I have finally gained my father's approval. As I go to college next year, I will always keep my mother in my heart. I will try my best to make her feel proud of me, as I go on my way to become a successful doctor.
We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors caused you to grow? (800 word limit)
â
She exited the doctor's office with a smile. She hurriedly got on a rickshaw and rushed home. When she arrived at the grim, broken-down, one room apartment, she called her husband, thinking he would be as delighted as she was at the news. "It's a girl!" She exclaimed, and, without a response, he hung up. She didn't realize what had just happened, but when he didn't come home for three days, she understood. He didn't want this unborn child; he didn't want me.
When my mother first conceived me, my father refused to take her to the doctor, claiming his financial situation was at a rut. Five months into the pregnancy, my mother had still not visited the doctor, but had contracted the chicken pox. Since she knew her husband wasn't going to take her, she went by herself to her cousin's office. Luckily, being a physician, the cousin was able to give her medicine and advise she get a sonogram. This was the first time my mother found out the gender of her baby.
When I was born, my mother's family was thrilled. They believed that the first baby being a girl was extremely fortunate. However, my own grandmother, my father's mother, did not come see me when I was first born. She, and my father, did not want to hold me the first few months, disappointed with my gender and already disappointed with me.
At six months, I was taken to Japan, so my father could complete his PhD. We left the polluted and bustling city of Dhaka, Bangladesh, and entered the suburban city of Kagawa, Japan. In Kagawa, I was able to have an almost-perfect childhood. I captured the hearts of everyone who had five minutes with me. All my father's friends came to our house just to see me, hold me, and play with me. When my mother took me with her to the grocery store, people would stop her, telling her what a beautiful toddler I was. My Japanese neighbors would come to our apartment, with gift bags full of Barbie's, little cars, and candy. Even at such a young age, I was able to delight everyone around me, except my father.
My mother, always loving me even when my dad didn't, made sure I would grow up to an intelligent and successful woman. During elementary school, every day when I came home, my mother would go over everything I had learned that day. She would make sure I did all my homework correctly, and gave me new homework so I would be prepared for anything. When I arrived in the United States, I skipped third grade and went straight to fourth. My mother worked with me, so I would be successful with my studies here too. She established a routine for me during elementary school that I still follow now, as a senior who will graduate at the top of her class. During middle school, I started being independent and realized I didn't need her help in school anymore. I somehow knew everything, and knew how to do everything. Nothing was a challenge for me academically, and it was all due to my mother's belief in my abilities.
After I finished freshmen year in high school, my counselor called me to her office, informing me I was ranked number one of my class. I was stunned. Me? The smartest of my class? No way, I thought. When I arrived home that day, I found out that my counselor had called my father to tell him the good news. He finally looked at me as I was his daughter. For the first time in my life, I caught his attention and I could see he was proud of me.
However, this feeling was short-lived. After a few months, my father began to doubt I could still keep my position throughout my high school career. He doubted my capabilities. He doubted I could become a successful doctor, my dream and my goal in life. He doubted everything I did, so I started doubting myself. The only one that kept believing in me was my mother. She didn't listen to his concerns that I was increasing my hopes to be crushed when reality hit. She believed I could do anything, be anything. And she began to make me believe it, too.
My mother was right about me. Today, as a senior, I am still ranked number one of my class. I am undefeated and I have finally gained my father's approval. As I go to college next year, I will always keep my mother in my heart. I will try my best to make her feel proud of me, as I go on my way to become a successful doctor.
