'I had one opponent, I lost!' - person who has impacted you

Who are the influential people in your life? How have they contributed to your development as a person?
right now this is over 300 words it needs to be 250!
help please
i will edit yours after!

So many people have contributed to shaping me into the person I am today, my family, my teachers, and my friends. However, one person in particular has taught me a significant lesson that I will always remember, and her name is Zoe. Sophomore year, I was running for vice president of community outreach for my schools student council. I only had one opponent, Zoe. She was a year older and more experienced, but her prickly personality and her abrasive demeanor made it difficult for her to connect with the student body. Even though she encouraged me to drop out of the race I did not back down. During the weeks leading up to the vote I campaigned every day, I wrote an inspiring speech, and showed my dedication to the school. I thought I had the election in the bag. When the winner was announced, nothing I had ever experienced could have prepared me for the shock of losing. I was devastated; I had never lost anything I had worked so hard on before. My confidence was crushed. The days following the election were even more difficult than the initial loss; Zoï rubbed her win in my face at every opportunity. I was tempted to be rude back, I truly wanted to, but I didn't. Zoe not only taught me what it feels like to experience defeat, but more importantly she me learn how to cope and move on. I was forced to learn how to lose gracefully. I began to channel all my anger into reaching my goal. The next semester I was hesitant to run for student council the sting of disappointment was still there but I defied my fears and ended up winning. I know that in life I will unfortunately experience failure again but thanks to Zoe I know I will be able to overcome whatever I may face.

It's decent but to be honest, I personally would not want to submit an essay with this kind of subject. It's certainly different seeing most will be submitting essays about grandparents, role models, etc. At first, I thought Zoe would help you with the election, then later (when i found out she was your opponent) she would teach you how to lose gracefully by losing herself but it turned out the other way around, which was unexpected. MAINLY because you talk about how she didn't connect with the student body (but evidently, she did). What does that say about YOU? That you connect worse than someone YOU consider as an aloof, anti-social?

That should NOT be the message you are trying to convey.

If you still have the time, I would write a new one with a different approach and try to figure out who truly had an influence on you.

Good luck! If you shorten some sentences, make them clearer, and change some of your diction, the essay could work at 250 words.

During sophomore year, I was running for vice president of community outreach for my schools student council. I only had one opponent: Zoe.

Above, you need "during," and you also need that colon. However, I don't like it so much with the colon. How about:

Zoe was my only opponent.


excellent description!

This is a big run-on sentence, a triple sentence (below). I'll fix it with parentheses:
The next semester I was hesitant to run for student council (the sting of disappointment was still there), but I defied my fears and ended up winning.