Please provide candid feedback on Miami University college admission essay of 500 words or less.
One year left... very different from the rest. What will I do without sports?
Please review my 500 word essay for Miami University admission. Criticism is needed! Thanks for your time!
Does my essay flow properly? What is one thing I need to work on? Feedback Please!!
Sorry but, It is impossible to read..
My coach called me Mighty Mouse on the soccer field as I weaved in and out scoring goal after goal. I loved the challenge, the adrenaline rush, the competitive edge and head to head competition and it resonated on both the soccer field and basketball court. It was hard to pick one sport, as I loved both soccer and basketball equally, but I knew I would need to take one to the next level if I wanted to reach my goal of playing in college.
I put a plan in place and was beginning to see all my hard work pay off. I made the Ohio Elite National League soccer team, a nationally ranked club and a magnet for college recruiters. I started to talk to college coaches and began the college tour. The reality of me playing in college looked promising.
Summer basketball in the middle of June. I wish I turned down coach K's offer of playing in the tournament that day. I didn't take the time to properly rest and ice my body in between games. We were down by 10 points and we needed me to sink a 3 point shot. As fans screamed my name to take the shot as I ran down the court I felt a sharp pain in my right knee. At that moment I knew something was serious. There was no way I could finish the game. We lost.
Waiting in the examination room at Beacon, I started playing with different scenarios in my head. I had talked friends that recovered from knee injuries and felt I could as well. Dr. Stein came in with x-rays which uncovered that I had torn my patellar tendon. He presented a few options options but the one that had the highest chance of recovery was somewhat experimental, called PRP injections. My passion for sports and my goal to play sports in college, left me with one option; the injections. After the four injections I sat through therapy twice a week for 2 months.
With all the rehab and injections behind me I still encountered severe pain. The procedure didn't heal my tendon. It was time for me to move on and focus on my future without sports. My senior year has just begun and I have already done so much. I don't regret quitting club soccer and basketball because I have come across so many fulfilling opportunities to fill the void. My knee injury not only made me a stronger person but it made me look at life from a different perspective. I like to consider sports a chapter of my life.
At the end of this year the final minutes of my soccer and basketball career will play out. At the buzzer I will look back at not only my sports memories but at the opportunities I have had since I focused on life without them. I am aware of who I am, who I want to be... at the buzzer.
I put a plan in place and was beginning to see all my hard work pay off. I made the Ohio Elite National League soccer team, a nationally ranked club and a magnet for college recruiters. I started to talk to college coaches and began the college tour. The reality of me playing in college looked promising.
Summer basketball in the middle of June. I wish I turned down coach K's offer of playing in the tournament that day. I didn't take the time to properly rest and ice my body in between games. We were down by 10 points and we needed me to sink a 3 point shot. As fans screamed my name to take the shot as I ran down the court I felt a sharp pain in my right knee. At that moment I knew something was serious. There was no way I could finish the game. We lost.
Waiting in the examination room at Beacon, I started playing with different scenarios in my head. I had talked friends that recovered from knee injuries and felt I could as well. Dr. Stein came in with x-rays which uncovered that I had torn my patellar tendon. He presented a few options options but the one that had the highest chance of recovery was somewhat experimental, called PRP injections. My passion for sports and my goal to play sports in college, left me with one option; the injections. After the four injections I sat through therapy twice a week for 2 months.
With all the rehab and injections behind me I still encountered severe pain. The procedure didn't heal my tendon. It was time for me to move on and focus on my future without sports. My senior year has just begun and I have already done so much. I don't regret quitting club soccer and basketball because I have come across so many fulfilling opportunities to fill the void. My knee injury not only made me a stronger person but it made me look at life from a different perspective. I like to consider sports a chapter of my life.
At the end of this year the final minutes of my soccer and basketball career will play out. At the buzzer I will look back at not only my sports memories but at the opportunities I have had since I focused on life without them. I am aware of who I am, who I want to be... at the buzzer.
Will someone please edit this?!