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Some say that combative sports should be left out from the school curriculum, I disagree.

zeal 5 / 14 8  
Aug 16, 2017   #1
Q. Some people believe that competitive sports, both team and individual, have no place in the school curriculum. How far do you agree or disagree?

The role of competitive sports in school curriculum

It is undeniable that sport brings vast amount of advantages to both the society and individuals including competitive ones. However, some argued that combative sports should be left out from the school curriculum. Though such kind of sports would be quite aggressive, I tend to totally disagree with this view.

To begin with, it is truism that competitive sports may be a little aggressive and combative, but the nature of such games brings several benefits to the students. Firstly, they could increase ones' passion and desire to win a certain match. In other words, student with sport spirit seem to be more willing to accept the challenges like exams, tasks, and so on. Secondly, as combative sports are quite hard to win especially with a skillful opponent, strategies become imperative and decisive factor, thus, they have to brainstorm to knock out the opposite team. Eventually, the practice of finding ways to defeat an opponent or to solve a problem becomes their second nature which would be useful skill not only in school tasks but in real life to tackle difficulties.

On the other hand, opting out such sport programmes from teaching categories would cause negative consequences to a certain extent. It is widely accepted that today's world is highly competitive especially in economic sectors, hence, more mentally and physically strong people are needed who have to be trained since in school. If not, a country's economy would not reach its potential and to the worst, that country would have a high chance to be influenced by other nations in terms of political, social and military. Another drawback is that potential talented athletes in a certain competitive sport would never be sprung up because school, the best place for ones to realize their true potential, would not have place for such sports.

To conclude, although some claimed that competitive sports should be removed form school curriculum, it is undoubted that their role is still as important as other sports and subjects. Therefore, I am convinced that those kinds of sports should be present in the school curriculum.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,732 3069  
Aug 17, 2017   #2
Mao, good work on this essay. You showed a good understanding of the prompt requirements and offered some keen insight into the reasons that you disagree with the opinion of the original statement. It would be best though if you used more negative supporting terms at the start of your paragraphs in order to remind the reader that you support the opposing point of view. Terms such as "I disagreed with this opinion because..." for the first paragraph then for the second, you could have opted to use a more proper and supporting term such as "Another reason I oppose the removal of combative sports in school is..." Another option would have been to say, "While the opposing side believes that, I am of the opinion that..." These terms all work to strengthen your point of view in the essay. Good wrap up in the concluding paragraph. Excellent work. You should have gotten some pretty good marks in the various sections for scoring in an actual setting had this been the topic assigned to you.
OP zeal 5 / 14 8  
Aug 17, 2017   #3
Thank you very much for your review and advice :)

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