Why OSU? Hard work, resources and research facilities

Why are you considering The Ohio State University?

While at school I have been keeping myself abreast of the global recession which resulted in the collapse of several reputed financial institutions, decline in growth of economy, increase in unemployment, loss of savings, to name a few. These incidents led me to decide on a career in finance and economics. The years that I have spent in a residential school taught me to be more responsible, focused and face challenges in life but my biggest challenge was to select a good college that would help me to pursue my dreams.

My school principal helped me to identify some of the top American universities and the intensive research done by me on the programs that each of these universities had to offer helped me to select Ohio State University as my ideal college which has a great academic and social environment. A degree in finance and economics from OSU will provide me an excellent opportunity to work as a financial consultant and aid me to provide guidance to the communities in attaining financial stability and their ability to cope with recessions.

I have always believed that hard work would help me to excel in life and I am convinced that OSU with it's vast resources and research facilities in the field of finance and an excellent faculty will help me to realize my dreams and aspirations. The vibrant culture at OSU will help me to get involved in various student organizations and also provide me an opportunity to meet students from different countries and learn more about their culture. I have always wanted the best and I know that my ideal college will be none other than OSU.

^I personally find this opening rather cliched. How did such events lead you to decide on a career in finance and economics? In fact, why would such events lead you to decide on a career in finance and economics? Perhaps an explanation on how such events led to your interest in finance and economics would support your claim.

EDIT:

*For the most part, your essay is generally cliched and contains a bit of unnecessary and irrelevant information. Just say why you want to study at Ohio State, how will it help you if you studied there, and what makes Ohio State special for you.

I totally agree with Liebe. Try to make your essay more specific and unique. :) General descriptions will not set your apart from the other potential candidates.

BTW, Liebe, how are you these days? How is your college application going?

My school principal helped me to identify some of the top American universities and my own intensive research done by me on the programs that each of these universities had to offer helped me to select Ohio State University as my ideal college which has a great academic and social environment. A degree in finance and economics from OSU will provide me an excellent opportunity to work as a financial consultant and aid prepare me to provide guidance to the communities that are struggling to attain financial stability. and their ability to cope with recessions.

I hope this is a helpful idea for revision!

:-)

Thanks for the suggestion