I'd like some feedback on this Occidental Supplement response. I feel like the conclusion is a bit cheesy, but this is what I have so far.
Choose a book you have read - at any point in your life - that most affected you and clarify its effect.
Maximum characters allowed: 1500
I first read The Outsiders in fourth grade, taking it off the classroom bookshelf purely by chance. I enjoyed it, but only superficially so. It wasn't until I was assigned to read it in seventh grade when I could truly appreciate the themes presented throughout the story. I began to read the characters not as hollow names attached to generic descriptions, but rather as embodiments of real human elements. The Outsiders was the first book that taught me how to read in between the lines not only in literature, but in the way I think every day as well.
And still The Outsiders continued to resonate in my learning when I took AP English in junior year. After reading The Grapes of Wrath and learning about how Christ figures are martyr-like characters, usually with the initials J.C., it dawned on me that Johnny Cade in The Outsiders was the first Christ figure I'd read. S.E. Hinton's contextualization of Christ for her story about social tension showed me that a story could speak past its own pages, further breaking the boundaries of my thinking.
It's funny for me to think that, when I first read the book, I thought ending it with Ponyboy sitting down to write what would become The Outsiders was a bit cheesy. As my appreciation for storytelling grows, though, I've come to revere that ending as one of most beautiful odes to the power of words that I've ever read, and to bring the narrative full-circle so gracefully speaks to the timelessness of storytelling.
While this would be a solid essay for LA class, it seems a bit impersonal for a college application essay. Folks at admissions want to see a reflection of who you are in your essay; the best way to give them that is by writing about something that means something to you. Make sure you write about what The Outsiders means to you personally, not just as exemplary literature, and the impact it had on your life.
Thank you for your feedback. When I wrote this I think I was trying to fashion it in a way that made The Outsiders a symbol or a reflection of my growth as a thinker, and then I tacked on an ending about how the ending of the story was this beautiful ode to the power of storytelling.
Do you think cutting the "this book is great" fat and elaborating more on how it was the first story I really loved would make this more compelling?
Thank you again.
Definitely cut the fat. You can talk a little about how the book was the first one you loved, but the main point of the essay should be what your enjoyment of and fascination with the book says about you as a person.
