Hello Folks,
I am glad that I found this website.
I am transferring from a two-year college to a university. I am done with the draft of my personal statement for the transfer admission. The universities I am targeting could be pretty picky. The word limits were varied from one school to another, but most of them were 1000.
So I kindly ask you guys to read my PS and give me some feedback.
------------------------- Begins From Here --------------------------
In 2003, my best friends recommended that I watch "XYZ", which was a TV channel for kids and teenagers. On that TV channel, there was an educational program that used to teach youngsters how to build very basic computer applications and tiny games. I used to wait for that TV program excitedly because I was so obsessed with experimenting with the things I learned from that program. On the next day, my friends would come over to my house, and we would proudly show each other what we came up with in experimenting with the things we learned by watching the program. We were learning the new concepts and techniques easily because we were literally obsessed with programming, and the results were really entertaining us. Everyday after school, we used to gather and cheerfully talk about the news we heard about new applications, technologies and so many random things that are related to the computer for many hours. Since then, my bond with the computer has grown stronger and stronger.
Learning basic procedural programming tremendously benefited me at that time. It made me much more analytical, meticulous, and persistent because I had so many experiences that challenged me to do a tons of experiments and explorations for vast periods of time to obtain the exact results. Before learning about programming, I was just an average math student. Having learned basic programming languages, I became one of the top students in my math class. I started looking at mathematics from a completely different perspective, and my taste for it grew enormously. Even my classmates and teachers were impressed by my agile growth and performances in my math class. I really started seeing the beauty of mathematics. Being one of the top math students made me even more ambitious, so I set a goal to excel in every subject, not only math. As a result of aiming and striving for the best in every subject, I graduated my high school as the top graduate and received a golden medal from my school principal. Now, looking back on this experience, I believe that I learned one of the most important lesson in my life. The lesson was that I choose who I am going to be... It made me much more self-confident and ambitious.
In 2007, I enrolled in the institute of XYZ, which was the best school in Mongolia. Although I wanted to study computer science, there was no school that offered quality education for it. Thus, many of my friends were forced to give up their interest and chose to study different fields. At the institute, I really enjoyed studying finance and economics, but I knew that I was not passionate about them. Therefore, in 2008, I firmly decided to go to America to pursue my true passion and achieve my goal of becoming a computer scientist. Indeed, in 2009, I landed in America with full of passion, excitement, and anxiety.
Living in America and studying at XYZ College for the past three years made me much more mature and wiser. It was so different than I expected. It was full of struggles, challenges, accomplishments and adventures. Being alone without knowing anyone in America was the biggest struggle for me. I realized how spoiled and immature I was when I had to start being independent and taking care of myself beside studying. Back in Mongolia, thanks to my parents, I was able to focus only on my study. However, in the new country and culture, I had to start learning so many things from the beginning and focus on many things at the same time in order to survive on my own. Because of being alone in the new country and the new culture, I have made so many mistakes that affected me and my academic performances in the past three years. However, I haven't looked at them as failures, rather good lessons and experiences that I equipped myself with to remember and use in the future.
Studying at American college offered me so many great opportunities that I wouldn't have in my home country. Just in the first year, I was hired as a math tutor at the campus and started helping other students to excel in their math class. I have made so many friends there who have the same interests and passion for technology, science and entrepreneurship. I loved my job. Also, I joined the Computer Science Club at my school and led several club activities and projects such as creating a website for XXX Alzheimer's Foundation. Now, the foundation is able to receive donations through their website. Moreover, at the end of 2011, I finally found an internship, which was at XYZ Consulting, LLC. During my internship, I was exposed to many new technologies that haven't had a chance to work on such as Cloud computing. After just several weeks, I was put in the charge of projects in place of my senior developer who had gone on vacation in overseas. I made use of my recently learned e-commerce framework, Amazon WebStore, and designed and developed several e-commerce websites. Indeed, the internship and the people worked at XYZ Consulting taught me a phenomenal mind-opening experiences.
Coming to America to pursue my passion was the best decision in my life. It was amazing three years that opened my eyes and made me understand myself and life better than ever. It lightened the road to achieve my goals. Also, most importantly, It made me much wiser, tougher, and self-disciplined. Since I started writing the first line of programming codes ten years ago, I have found and dreamed of several ideas of making certain softwares and applications that, I strongly believe, can help so many people to live better and work efficiently. To achieve my goals and make my ideas real, I need to have outstanding computer science knowledge and skills, with which XYZ university can definitely provide with.
