Overall Richness of Campus Life-Michigan State Undergrad Essay

I have several characteristics that will allow me to contribute to the richness of campus life. Throughout my years, I have been taught to challenge myself by reaching outside my comfort zone and pushing myself to the fullest extent. As a Michigan State University student, I plan to reach new levels through community and campus involvement.

Reaching out to my classmates and the built-in social groups that come with dorm living, I hope to meet students of varying ethnic, religious, and economic backgrounds. It is easy for students to become just another face, particularly at a large university, but I intend on taking full advantage of the diversity at MSU by breaking out of my comfort zone and becoming an active member of the East Lansing community.

While academics have always been my focus, I believe to be truly successful, a college student must give the educational environment as much as they receive. I intend on taking full advantage by getting involved in local community projects, especially ones that involve community service organizations that intermingle with campus initiatives. In this way, I believe that I can become an asset to Michigan State University.

I like what you have written, it is very straightforward. Is there anyway you can include anything about your personality and show some individuality? Try to find a way to stand out. Otherwise, your essay might sound the same as many other applicants'. You mention "comfort zone" twice... maybe you shouldn't use that phrase because it makes you seem unsure...

I have several characteristics that will allow me to contribute to the richness of campus life.
Maybe say it like this: "I believe that I can make a significant contribution to the richness of campus life."

It is easy for students to become just another face, particularly at a large university, but I intend on taking full advantage of the diversity at MSU by breaking out of my comfort zone and becoming an active member of the East Lansing community.

This sentence is too long. Maybe say it like this: "At a large university, it is easy for a student to just blend in with the crowd, but I want to stand out and be noticed. I want to make my voice heard, get involved with my teachers and classmates, and become an active member of the community."