I have to write an essay for my UF application. Trying to transfer from CC in spring 2012 so any advice or comments would be quite helpful. I really did not know what I should have written about so I actually wrote two essays.
Here is the prompt: In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community.
Here is my 1st essay
Illegal substances have the capabilities of ruining a person's life, leaving them disheveled, ignorant and irresponsible. My life was taken over by this drug leaving my parents to worry whether I would return home or even if I would be alive the next day. I tend to break down noticing how their hard work paved such a beautiful life for me yet my addiction to Marijuana took over my existence.
I turned into a monster at one point smoking daily to numb my thoughts forgetting everything around me. Losing my beautiful girlfriend of two years and eventually sitting in a jail cell I remember explaining to my father how shameful I have become. My father simply said, "Boy, you destroyed your life." I understand why that was said, because I knew my life went down the destructive path. My life was in complete disarray by the age of eighteen. After spending one month in jail I returned home staying away from drugs until old acquaintances caught up with me.
I relapsed again as if this was inevitable. Eventually the locks in my house changed leaving me homeless. The only place that I slept was in my friend's car since his family would not let me sleep inside. With no resources I adapted to a completely different life that I have only heard about in third world countries. I lived in fear of not being able to eat or brush my teeth giving me enough warning signs to change my habitual lifestyle. I managed to beg a fast food manager for a job paying minimum wage working hard trying to earn twenty-five cents more on my paycheck, but just receiving a ten cent raise.
Learning these hardships in life has put me on the right track for over three years. The most important lesson dealt with understanding that I took advantage of quite a privileged life.
Overcoming this drug addiction has given me the strength to rebuild a broken relationship with my family. My family worked very hard for what they wanted except for one person. I have to continue in the right direction, and I must pave my own road valuing morals and goal's that I have set. In order to fulfill my dreams the hurdles must never end, because my perseverance will always allow me to jump over. I broke this repetitive drug cycle rehabilitating my life cold turkey, which was tough, but I believe the toughest journey is just starting, and that starts now.
Here is my 2nd Essay
Standing quietly in lab I observed my other classmate's solemn faces. The steam distillation continued extracting oil from the cloves drop by drop. Trying to figure out how to liven the class I noticed a bottle of cinnamon sticks hidden in a drawer. My professor asked for one, and immediately started to suck the flavor from the bark. Professor Hawes said we could all have one yet these might be twenty years old. Everyone in the class look disgusted at first, but laughed at our professor's sarcasm. I looked at my lab partner Sarah and asked "Hey, have you heard of the cinnamon challenge?" She giggled, and said "yeah, but I have only seen that on YouTube." A brilliant, but silly idea emerged from my mind and I yelled out to everyone "cinnamon challenge! Who is up for a cinnamon challenge?"
They all stared at me shocked perhaps thinking I was a crazy Indian guy yelling out erratically. I thought this was a great opportunity since the oil separation was taking well over thirty minutes. The idea was tossed around until the whole lab group was behind me, and they were all rooting "you can do it!" I thought wait, what have I gotten myself into? Am I actually going to chew a spoonful of "twenty-year-old" cinnamon for an experience of a lifetime? Absolutely. I proclaimed to everyone that I had an advantage, because I have eaten capsicum seeds when I was a baby. I managed to build up a tolerance to spicy food since my Indian culture dealt with many spices, but just having ground cinnamon on my palate was going to be quite the challenge. Professor Hawes yelled from across the room "Hey, at least you will get fiber and other nutrients." I looked at him grinning with a sense of nervousness. While the cinnamon sticks were being demolished by fellow classmates taking turns with the pestle. I took the time to recognize the future within our laboratory. Taking notice as the whole lab group came together to create memories, which taught me a lot about friendship. All of us were quite excited since we had ten minutes to spare. Carefully balancing the spoonful of freshly ground cinnamon I told my lab group to record this on their smartphones for YouTube purposes.
My professor stopped me and said, "Lets take this outside." Everyone burst out laughing. I put the cinnamon in my mouth and started chewing away. All of a sudden tears were coming down my cheeks. Not for making wonderful friends, but for the cinnamon dust actually going through my nasal passage. The pain was unbearable, but I was quite happy to see everyone else laughing. The time past by quickly, and sadly that was our last organic lab. In College I will do almost anything to make friends and lasting memories, but I will never again do a challenge that deals solely with spices.
Here is the prompt: In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community.
Here is my 1st essay
Illegal substances have the capabilities of ruining a person's life, leaving them disheveled, ignorant and irresponsible. My life was taken over by this drug leaving my parents to worry whether I would return home or even if I would be alive the next day. I tend to break down noticing how their hard work paved such a beautiful life for me yet my addiction to Marijuana took over my existence.
I turned into a monster at one point smoking daily to numb my thoughts forgetting everything around me. Losing my beautiful girlfriend of two years and eventually sitting in a jail cell I remember explaining to my father how shameful I have become. My father simply said, "Boy, you destroyed your life." I understand why that was said, because I knew my life went down the destructive path. My life was in complete disarray by the age of eighteen. After spending one month in jail I returned home staying away from drugs until old acquaintances caught up with me.
I relapsed again as if this was inevitable. Eventually the locks in my house changed leaving me homeless. The only place that I slept was in my friend's car since his family would not let me sleep inside. With no resources I adapted to a completely different life that I have only heard about in third world countries. I lived in fear of not being able to eat or brush my teeth giving me enough warning signs to change my habitual lifestyle. I managed to beg a fast food manager for a job paying minimum wage working hard trying to earn twenty-five cents more on my paycheck, but just receiving a ten cent raise.
Learning these hardships in life has put me on the right track for over three years. The most important lesson dealt with understanding that I took advantage of quite a privileged life.
Overcoming this drug addiction has given me the strength to rebuild a broken relationship with my family. My family worked very hard for what they wanted except for one person. I have to continue in the right direction, and I must pave my own road valuing morals and goal's that I have set. In order to fulfill my dreams the hurdles must never end, because my perseverance will always allow me to jump over. I broke this repetitive drug cycle rehabilitating my life cold turkey, which was tough, but I believe the toughest journey is just starting, and that starts now.
Here is my 2nd Essay
Standing quietly in lab I observed my other classmate's solemn faces. The steam distillation continued extracting oil from the cloves drop by drop. Trying to figure out how to liven the class I noticed a bottle of cinnamon sticks hidden in a drawer. My professor asked for one, and immediately started to suck the flavor from the bark. Professor Hawes said we could all have one yet these might be twenty years old. Everyone in the class look disgusted at first, but laughed at our professor's sarcasm. I looked at my lab partner Sarah and asked "Hey, have you heard of the cinnamon challenge?" She giggled, and said "yeah, but I have only seen that on YouTube." A brilliant, but silly idea emerged from my mind and I yelled out to everyone "cinnamon challenge! Who is up for a cinnamon challenge?"
They all stared at me shocked perhaps thinking I was a crazy Indian guy yelling out erratically. I thought this was a great opportunity since the oil separation was taking well over thirty minutes. The idea was tossed around until the whole lab group was behind me, and they were all rooting "you can do it!" I thought wait, what have I gotten myself into? Am I actually going to chew a spoonful of "twenty-year-old" cinnamon for an experience of a lifetime? Absolutely. I proclaimed to everyone that I had an advantage, because I have eaten capsicum seeds when I was a baby. I managed to build up a tolerance to spicy food since my Indian culture dealt with many spices, but just having ground cinnamon on my palate was going to be quite the challenge. Professor Hawes yelled from across the room "Hey, at least you will get fiber and other nutrients." I looked at him grinning with a sense of nervousness. While the cinnamon sticks were being demolished by fellow classmates taking turns with the pestle. I took the time to recognize the future within our laboratory. Taking notice as the whole lab group came together to create memories, which taught me a lot about friendship. All of us were quite excited since we had ten minutes to spare. Carefully balancing the spoonful of freshly ground cinnamon I told my lab group to record this on their smartphones for YouTube purposes.
My professor stopped me and said, "Lets take this outside." Everyone burst out laughing. I put the cinnamon in my mouth and started chewing away. All of a sudden tears were coming down my cheeks. Not for making wonderful friends, but for the cinnamon dust actually going through my nasal passage. The pain was unbearable, but I was quite happy to see everyone else laughing. The time past by quickly, and sadly that was our last organic lab. In College I will do almost anything to make friends and lasting memories, but I will never again do a challenge that deals solely with spices.