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I owe everything to my family - it has greatly influenced who I am today. UCF essay



fawnbolak591 1 / -  
Oct 27, 2008   #1
Alright guys i just really need some feedback.... PLEASE!!!!!

"How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are?"

My family has greatly influenced who I am today. Growing up, my parents always stressed to my twin brother and I the importance of education and having high goals. So from a young age I always strived to get good grades and to be a good role model for my friends and peers. Growing up with a twin I learned about the beauty of companionship. Not to say that I don't work well by myself, but I am very good at working in teams, sharing ideas, and compromising to get a common goal accomplished.

Through my parents I was taught responsibility and hard work. My mother was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis around the time I was in 4th grade. Because of this autoimmune disease she has some days when she can't move her wrists or even stand, thus keeping her from work. My Father works very hard to support us and to pay for her medicine and hospital bills but we usually only make ends meat, leaving her most of the time without her prescriptions. He works in California because the pay is higher even though he would rather be with his family. My father has been a great role model in teaching me about the importance of family and sacrifice.

It is up to my brother and I to take care of my mom. We help around the house by doing laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. My mom is a trooper, she never complains even though she is in constant pain. She taught me to always try my hardest and to never let anyone or anything hold you back from your dreams. My parents truly are selfless. Everything they do is for my brother and I.

I owe everything to my family. If it weren't for them I would have nothing. My parents and my brother have taught me so much about life and they have shaped me to the person I am today. I know that they are proud in me in all that I do and with their love and support I can accomplish great things.

EF_Team5 - / 1583  
Oct 27, 2008   #2
Good evening.

So from a young age I always would strive to get good grades and to be a good ...
Not to say that I don'tAvoid contractions in formal academic writing. work well by myself, but ...
My mother was diagnosed with Rheumatoid ArthritisAs this is neither a proper noun nor the first word of a sentence, it shouldn't be capitalized. around the time I was in 4thfourth grade.

... she has some days when she can't move her wrists or even stand...
My FatherCapitalization works very hard to support us (...) we usually only make ends meet , leaving her most of the ...
We help around the house by doing laundry, cleaning, and cooking.
If it weren't for them I would have nothing.

How specifically has this situation influenced who you are? You tell an inspiring story, but I think more details would definitely help it along.


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