Please give feedback, is this too trite??
Alumna and writer Anna Quindlen says that she "majored in unafraid" at Barnard. Tell us about a time when you majored in unafraid. (250 word limit)
My palms sweat and my heart races as I stand in line waiting for my turn. I peek through the heavy green curtains and scan the filled rows, spying the headmaster and my garrulous friends. The crowd claps loudly as my opponent, Bryce, ends with a "Thank you" and adding his catchy line "Remember, vote Bryce for vice!" He whispers "good luck" as I move my way across to center stage. Suddenly, the spotlight blinds my eyes and saturates my body in white rays. I normally never get this nervous; giving speeches should come naturally from debate and speaking in front of my school clubs, but this time my lips tremble. I cannot calm my heart or keep my hands from shaking. Gathering some nerves, I give a forced smile and look up at the familiar faces, remembering why I am here. I want to be the first girl Vice President at the school I have been at for the past twelve years, I want to finally be the person to make a real change. Taking one last breath, I begin my speech with a quivery "Hello." I start to read, but the words before my eyes lag behind the ones I am saying. I no longer hear my heart in my ears, only the words I recited countlessly the previous night. Before I know it, I am giving my last line. I pause for a moment, this time smiling confidently and yell, "Thank you! Vote Anne Kim for the win!"
Alumna and writer Anna Quindlen says that she "majored in unafraid" at Barnard. Tell us about a time when you majored in unafraid. (250 word limit)
My palms sweat and my heart races as I stand in line waiting for my turn. I peek through the heavy green curtains and scan the filled rows, spying the headmaster and my garrulous friends. The crowd claps loudly as my opponent, Bryce, ends with a "Thank you" and adding his catchy line "Remember, vote Bryce for vice!" He whispers "good luck" as I move my way across to center stage. Suddenly, the spotlight blinds my eyes and saturates my body in white rays. I normally never get this nervous; giving speeches should come naturally from debate and speaking in front of my school clubs, but this time my lips tremble. I cannot calm my heart or keep my hands from shaking. Gathering some nerves, I give a forced smile and look up at the familiar faces, remembering why I am here. I want to be the first girl Vice President at the school I have been at for the past twelve years, I want to finally be the person to make a real change. Taking one last breath, I begin my speech with a quivery "Hello." I start to read, but the words before my eyes lag behind the ones I am saying. I no longer hear my heart in my ears, only the words I recited countlessly the previous night. Before I know it, I am giving my last line. I pause for a moment, this time smiling confidently and yell, "Thank you! Vote Anne Kim for the win!"
