Hello... I hope you are all having a nice evening! I desperately need help editing this down to 1800 characters and getting feedback on if this actually says anything about me at all. Any comments as soon as possible are incredibly appreciated! Deadline is January 1st :((((
Short Essay
Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your future roommate -- and us -- know you better.
As I unpack, my boxes are emptied to reveal paper - papers in books, in binders, in notebooks, on Post-Its. While this might lend an impression of obsession, these sheaves of paper reflect the layers of my character.
Many of the operations and interactions of my life are by paper. Lining my walls, desk, and backpack are post-its and lists reminding me of projects and anniversaries while my drawers and folders harbor the more sophisticated cardstock with which I will make every personalized birthday, Christmas, and thank-you card. Despite my obsession with recycling, I almost never throw any paper away, always insisting on its reincarnation as scratch paper, origami cranes, even confetti. It is on these scraps I often jot down witticisms I overhear, a word I have never heard before, or, in a transient flash of inspiration, a line to a poem I have not yet written.
I know my ineluctable accumulation of paper will warrant raised eyebrows and exasperated sighs, but they are an element of my lifestyle that cannot be matched with technology. As much paper as I consume printing assignments or the occasional enlightening article, I handwrite notes and assignments whenever I can, not only because of my penchant for being "old-fashioned" but also because pressings keys on a keyboard is nowhere near as intimate as having a pencil in one hand and paper under your fingertips. With handwriting, I can imprint my thoughts with visual liberty, free to cultivate my specialized system of arrows, noughts, boxes, and lines without the restraints of computerized formatting.
Unlike typing or texting, there is an art to handwriting, a skill derived from the keen physical communication from one's arm to one's fingers involving honing every curve, meticulously ascending the trunk of every 'I', maintaining the impeccable rise and fall of the letters. So you can always expect a handwritten note from me rather than a text message, compounded with a variety of my original calligraphy and nonsensical doodles.
My marriage to paper and handwriting lends itself to a few drawbacks, evidenced by the disarray that pervades my desk and the chronic papercuts and pen marks that adorn my hands. Still, it is a complicated relationship that I cannot abandon. I only hope that you can put up with us. If not, I will be sure to give my apology - by post-it.
2349/1800
wow this is really interesting. :) i think its very original and the writing is really good as well. Well done and good luck with your apps.:)
I enjoyed your essay. Your writing is great and I love the idea and the story. As much as it might pain you, using less complicated/ elevated words and language will help you in a character count. It's pretty, but it does take up space. For example, rather than "lend an impression of obsession" in paragraph one, you could use "indicate obsession." Contractions could also save you a little, I guess. I don't know if you were planning on cutting out chunks, but I wouldn't recommend cutting down the last paragraph. It's clever and a great ending. Maybe parts of the third or fourth paragraph are unnecessary? Just a note, in paragraph two, "despite my obsession with recycling" doesn't make sense because you're clearly recycling your paper. "Because of" or "due to" rather than "despite" would make sense in context. Good work, very original!
Thank youuuu, ngcoel!!! I actually finally cut it down to size. It only took me about 2 hours! -_- Anyway, here is my finished product and would you mind giving me your beautiful insight again? I definitely agree, the way I write is quite flowery but sometimes I can't help it. I am afraid I didn't see this comment until I finished "finalizing" the edits so I didn't make any changes you said, but perhaps it will be good enough.
EDITED
As I unpack, my boxes are emptied to reveal paper - papers as books, notepads, scraps, Post-Its. While this might lend an impression of obsession, these sheaves of paper reflect the layers of my character.
Many of the operations of my life are by paper. Post-its and lists line my walls, desk, and backpack, reminding me of projects and anniversaries while my drawers harbor the more sophisticated cardstock with which I make every personalized birthday, holiday, and thank-you card. I rarely throw any paper away, reincarnating it as scratch paper, origami cranes, even confetti. Such scraps serve as homes to witticisms I overhear, words I have never heard before, or, in a flash of inspiration, a line to a poem I have not yet written.
I know the accumulation of paper will warrant raised eyebrows and exasperated sighs, but it is an element of my lifestyle to which technology cannot compare. As much paper as I consume printing assignments or the occasional enlightening article, I handwrite my notes and homework whenever I can, not only for my penchant for being "old-fashioned" but also because I can cultivate and imprint thoughts with visual liberty. With the keen, intimate communication from my arm to my fingers, I craft my handwriting, honing every curve, meticulously ascending the trunk of each 'I,' maintaining the perfect rise and fall of the letters. Rather than a text message, you can surely expect a note featuring my original calligraphy and nonsensical doodles.
My marriage to paper lends itself to a few cons, evidenced by the disarray pervading my desk and the chronic papercuts and pen marks adorning my hands. Still, it is a complicated relationship that I cannot abandon. I only hope that you can put up with us. If not, I will be sure to give my apology - by post-it.
Still great. My only suggestion now (if you've got the space and patience) is to refer to your living space (cluttered with papers, as it were), or to your roommate, or some related facet of Stanford life to make it more of a personal letter to a friend and add realism. Or not =) I hope you get in!
Haha, I think I will definitely try to at least finish everything else and then get back to that. Definitely a great suggestion though. I didn't even think of that! You mean like saying something "In the future, don't mind my post-its on the bathroom mirror, etc etc"? I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with that but is that what you meant?
Yeah, definitely, I like the bathroom mirror thing.
