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parents, environment, culture influences who you are



olivier007 2 / 3  
Nov 13, 2011   #1
Prompt: how has your family history, culture or environment influence who you are

Who can affirm that they were born with their set of values? When I think about my childhood, I realized that many factors influence the way I am. Since I was young, punishment was the NUMBER ONE word I was scared of, as a result my mother used this fear against me. Under those circumstances, I learned many valuable qualities such as respect, moral values and good manners. Till this day I can hear her voice telling me what to do. Additionally, I lived in a poor country for many years, I witnessed many unfair situations. Unfortunately, I use to hear how people from other country talk bad about us. I gained strength from this situation and I decide that one day I will make all the other country think different about us.

It is said that we are the sum of our relationships. Being raised by Haitian parents and lived in a Haitian community, I shared many of their characteristic. Indeed, I was this close to be named Jean-Baptiste. Additionally, I like listening to kompas, eat diri ak pwa (red beans and rice) and I believe I can treat any illness with specific leaves. Given this point I am the product of my environment and my family.

thx for taking your time to read it
do do u think i respond to the question?

SallyM - / 5  
Nov 15, 2011   #2
You touch on a lot of points and have a compelling life history to tell! I recommend making your essay longer and delving more deeply into just one or two points to make the reader understand you and what your goals are. What do you plan to do to make all the other countries think differently about Haiti?

There are some grammatical errors in the essay. For example it should read: "Additionally, I lived in a poor country for many years; I witnessed many unfair situations. Unfortunately, I used to hear how people from other countriesspeak badly about us. I gained strength from this situation, and I decided that one day I will make all the other countries think differently about us."

Thanks!


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