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My parents, influential persons - UT Austin



alee 2 / 6  
Nov 5, 2010   #1
Please edit =)
Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

When he would walk in, I would walk out. I was just seven years old at the time but I, an only child, can still remember each second and each minute that passed. Today, he has walked out of my life, but somehow, I know that one day he'll come back, back into my life. I can still remember the parched summer breeze when he would lift me up into the tall truck. He was always a shade or two darker than me, but I knew that was only because the number of hours he was in the sun. I knew I wasn't supposed to talk about my family towards strangers as my mom had taught. Yet somehow, in my little world, I knew he was as close to a brother as it can ever get.

On a typical Saturday afternoon, we would turn up the radio in the truck and I would ride in the back. As we reached the warehouse, he would hold my hand and we would skip right into the distributor's warehouse. I would climb aboard the cart specially made for wholesale manufacturers and we would laugh about everything and anything. I can still remember today because the same routine happened for the next five years. Whenever my parents would reprimand me, I would always run to him while he unloaded goods for the store. He would simply smile and tell me that my parents wanted what was best for me. He told me that one should always taste the bitter before the sweet. And today, I can honestly say he was who I needed. Sometimes, parents can never fill the void. However, as I grew older, I realized that time had created a barrier between us and as I climbed onto the ladder of life he created with me, I knew that he would be left behind. Obdurately, I persisted in sitting in the "wholesale cart"; however, as I went from sitting in the cart to standing on it, I recognized that time had ended and so would our friendship.

I can still remember the Winnie the Pooh candy jar sitting on top of the counter. Whenever we went to the warehouse, I would always stand in front of the candy jar observing it. My parents had bought me two of the candy jars, for some reason (I can't remember), I knew I needed a third jar. Therefore, my parents of course said no and I remember standing there helplessly, Winnie the Pooh's eyes and mine were steadfastly interlocked when suddenly someone swept me up. Alongside of me was Winnie the Pooh, I realized that the turned out to be my "brother".

As each year passed by, I realized that I went from having ingenuous yet intricate conversations to only say "Good morning". I failed to comprehend the barrier between us; somehow everything seemed awkward, yet normal. I didn't know what to say or how to start a conversation. Could it be that the past was just my imagination? Had it been my own input? Could it be that the candy jar was my mom's idea? All these questions seemed to baffle and overwhelm me. Yet somehow I didn't know what to do. How could the younger version of me be better at starting conversations?

Therefore, I began asking him Pre-Algebra problems or word problems in chemistry and soon, his crooked smile soothed my agony. I realized that although times have indeed changed, I was now sixteen while he was thirty-nine, he will never be an employee to me. He has returned home, yet somehow I know that the volume of memories we have had will be enough to last a lifetime. Today I realize why we had a simple yet persistent relationship; he was a brother to me and as I grew older, he transitioned into my mentor as well as confidant.

paolalazarus 1 / 4  
Nov 5, 2010   #2
"My parents had bought me two of the candy jars, for some reason (I can't remember), I knew I needed a third jar."

>Take the parenthesis out, but leave in the "I can't remember". Maybe try rephrasing. I couldn't think of a better way to rephrase though...

"...realized that the turned out to be my "brother". "

>realized that HE turned out to be my "brother

"word problems in chemistry and soon,"

>word problems in Chemistry
>Chemical equations
>Chemistry word problems

One last suggestion maybe add that more than a mentor, and just academically helpful, maybe add that he helped you socially and morally... if was in fact that
OP alee 2 / 6  
Nov 5, 2010   #3
Thank you for the suggestions!


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