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My parents have owned a donut shop for almost twenty-five years; Common App



silligrl555 2 / 6  
Nov 26, 2009   #1
My parents have owned a donut shop for almost twenty-five years. I am blessed with amazing parents and the opportunity to eat free donuts whenever I pleaseïa fact my friends were always jealous of. However, my parents have shown me that the donut business is not necessarily the sweetest labor. All my life, I have watched my parents wake up at three in the morning every day to open up shop, work fifteen-hour shifts, come home to cook dinner for the family, and then go back to the shop to check on the bakers.

I have witnessed how exhausting running a business can be, but I have also observed, through my parents, the satisfaction that lies in sustaining a business through one's own innovation and perseverance.

I have personally experienced a taste of my parent's sense of accomplishment in my own efforts while working at the donut shop. For the last six years, I have worked the Sunday shift at the shop to give my mom a day once a week. At the end of a grueling work day, I have found nothing more satisfying than seeing empty donut trays behind the counter, 100 dozen donuts sold, my hard work happily manifested in those empty trays.

Furthermore, I find pride in watching customers regularly buy our donuts out of fondness and trust for our goods. Being able to provide customers with their much-needed morning coffee or afternoon snack gives me a sense of joy and importance when I see how grateful they are for our services.

I aspire to follow in my parent's footsteps and start my own business in the future. I am attracted to the idea of autonomy and independence that lies in succeeding in my own business. At the same time, I dream of offering consumers something that will improve their way of life or increase their happinessïmuch like how I have frequently seen my parent's donuts brighten someone's day.

I often hear that starting a business mostly involves luck. My parents have proven to me otherwise. They have worked hard for what they have accomplished, never settling for mediocrity, always pushing to expand their business to its highest potentialïand I know the reason they work hard is so that they can provide my sisters and I with opportunities they never received, like the chance to go to college. I am indebted to my parents for all the sacrifices they have made for me, but I am also indebted to them for demonstrating what perseverance can amount to and the value of hard work. Through my parents, I know what a true businesswoman looks like, and I strive to live up to their examples.

cache189 3 / 8  
Nov 26, 2009   #2
This essay is amazing! The words you use and the way you use them are amazing! I'm totally jealous. Hhahah.
I feel like, as for your idea, it's great. I wouldn't really change anything. Some random grammar things I caught are below.


For the last six years, I have worked the Sunday shift at the shop to give my mom a day once a week.
do you want to be more specific about the day? like a holiday? or a day off? cause right now it just sounds like she wanted a day, whatever that's supposed to mean.

and I know the reason they work hard is so that they can provide my sisters and me with opportunities they never received
if you take out the "my sisters" part, you'll hear that "I" does not fit correctly.

So, I was wondering if you could take a look at my essay. With someone with as great writing as yours, I would love it if you could read my stuff! If you could just click on my username and have a look at the thread titled "Prompt 1: What school has done to me!", I would be honored! :)

Best of luck!


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