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[TOEFL] The car use will definitely decrease in twenty years


joyhu 9 / 22 5  
Aug 12, 2013   #1
Need everyone's help to improve my writing skills. Thank you for the reading. =)

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Views differ considerably when it comes to the issue of whether cars will be less than there are today in twenty years or not. Some people believe that since the environmental concern has risen, the car use will decrease. While others think that a personal car is important for ones daily life. Both of the opposite arguments appear to be somewhat convincing and stand to reason. But as far as I am concerned, I agree with the idea, which is that there will be a decrease in cars use in the future. The following reasons will present my points.

First of all, since the public transportation has improved, it is much convenience to take a subway or a bus. For example, I live in a city which always have a jam in the morning and doesn't have enough parking lots for the cars. So, with the stations increased people are willing to take a public transportation than drive on their own.

Second, a driving car can make a lot of different pollutions to the world. So, with the risen of the aware to the environment, people will think more about whether to drive on their own or not. For example, instead of driving each one's car, if we put forty people in a bus, it will solve the traffic jam by decrease the cars use and also reduce the air pollution for the city.

Although, I am agree with the idea that reducing of the car use will be achieve in twenty years. I think I still have to point out that there are some different points of view. People who hold different opinion may argue that a personal car uses is in need because a public transportation can't meet every place. Of course, it may be true when you want to go to some countryside or some other inconvenience places. However, no matter you are going to somewhere for a trip or you just simply live in some suburbs and so on, it always have some other ways that you can do, you can ride a bike, or even walk on your feet. It not only helps you to reduce the car use, but also good to your health. In this way, this won't be a problem at all.

In conclusion, given the reasons described above, when the advantages and disadvantages of whether there will be fewer cars in use in twenty years or not are carefully compared, the best choice is obviously stand on my side, which is that the car use will definitely decrease in twenty years.

fahadbd 25 / 56 5  
Aug 14, 2013   #2
you should not use same patter in your writing such as you used three times 'whether. . . . Or not' try to describe alternative way.
Pahan 1 / 1,909 553  
Aug 14, 2013   #3
While others think that a personal car is important for ones daily life.

....well this is not the other side of your argument. That is to say there will not be fewer cars in the futue. So, you need to connect this reason to your argument, otherwise this does not sound logical;

While others think that a personal car is important for ones daily life and therefore the demand for cars would not reduce in the future.

The following reasons will present my points.

.... this is not necessary, you can stop at the point of stating your position on the argument. The reader knows you are going to justify your position.

You write very well :)
OP joyhu 9 / 22 5  
Aug 14, 2013   #4
To fahadbd,
Thanks for the reply. =)
I found the same thing when I review it.
The problem is that I don't know how to change the sentences.

To Paham,
I really love your replies !!!
You always give me a lot of tips that I don't know.
Thank you. =)


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