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Peace corps motivation essay draft. I registered into a Geopolitics class...



cvwinford 1 / 1  
Nov 30, 2012   #1
In the spring semester of 2012 I registered into a Geopolitics class as a perspective towards my Biology degree. I had no idea the material of the class would impact my life in such a way that I would question my career path as an aspiring dentist. During this time the pressure was on to decide what I should do after graduation and what path I should choose to get there. The class had very strong dealings with race, class, culture and ethnic conflict and the information was emotionally overwhelming thus inspiring me to do something -anything! It really opened my eyes and my heart to have more compassion and love for people that I don't know and realize just how misinformed I had been of other countries and their way of life.

So, I did some soul searching and finally attained the guts to ask my Geopolitics professor "Is there anything that I can do along my career path as a biology major to incorporate the teachings of your class and my major?" Of course as the resulting solution of our conversation he says "Peace Corps". I never knew such a humbling program existed before this meeting and since then it is all I can think about. After researching and attending information sessions I realized this was perfect for me. With my experience as a Patient Care Assistant and Literacy Volunteer Program Coordinator I only hope you would use my skills to their capacity and more.

I have briefed myself as much as possible about the living conditions I could potential face, being homesick and lack of utilities; I would be foolish to say I am not afraid. However, my love of people and hunger of getting to know them and their culture over powers whatever challenges I may face. I am ready to adapt, teach, learn, help and grow in every way possible. I want to be used and give all of me for those 27 months in my host country and only take back the stories of a lifetime.

ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 661  
Nov 30, 2012   #2
The first paragraph (OR introduction) is a little long. It contains 133 words, while the body, which includes only one paragraph contains 114 words. I think you wrote many details in the introduction. In fact it includes all parts of an essay (introduction, body, and conclusion. If you give many information in the first paragraph, nothing would be left to say in the rest of the essay.

Of course as the resulting solution of our conversation he sayssaid "Peace Corps". I had never heard aboutknew such a humbling program existed before this meeting and since then it is all I can think about. After researching on the topic and attending information sessions I realized this wasfound it perfect for me. With my experience as a Patient Care Assistant and Literacy Volunteer Program Coordinator I only hope you would use my skills to their capacity and more("YOU" refers to whom? Elaborate on this part. You did not mention why this program was great for you? How could your experiences help you to come up with the task?) .

The class had very strong dealings with race, class, culture and ethnic conflict and the information was emotionally overwhelming thus inspiring me to do something -anything

Talk about these things in the body.

I have briefed myself as much as possible about the living conditions I could potential face, being homesick and lack of utilities; I would be foolish to say I am not afraid. However, my love of people and hunger of getting to know them and their cultures over powers whatever challenges I may faceencounter (Use synonym) . I am ready to adapt, teach, learn, help and grow in every way possible.(In the body you should introduce yourself as a person who is able to do these tasks) I want to be used and give all of meinvest all my energy and time in this program and I will work with all my heart and soul for those 27 months in my host country and only take back the stories of a lifetime
crazyleggs - / 1  
Dec 1, 2012   #3
I agree. If you would elaborate on your skills and apply that to the actual question the essay asks of you then this essay would be perfect!


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