Penn allows me to focus on my academic interest in a profound manner.

How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania?

My Friday nights are quite unusual. While my friends are enjoying the Premier League matches, I prefer to sit at my study-table, holding my headphones to listen to speeches, read papers and analyze government policies. My interest has crossed my mind, since the day when India had unofficially created an economic blockade in Nepal. Not granting access to the sea for a landlocked country like Nepal was a clear violation of the Statute on Freedom of Transit 1921, Convention on Transit Trade of Landlocked States-1965 and Convention on the Law of the Sea 1982. Also, the irony was that the Gurkha soldiers who once fought on behalf of India were now dying due to a lack of medical supplies from this blockade.

Yet, our politicians stood there either hopelessly or unwilling to solve it. I can still remember that anxious moment as a 16-year-old kid. At that moment, I felt the urge to help the people suffering; I wanted to change that but I was unequipped to help them.

This is when I realized that my competence and interest both lie in leadership and economic policies. And, I could one day lead this nation. Thus, my search for the perfect university began. Then, I came across UPenn -- a perfect match for me.

Penn allows me to focus on my academic interest in a profound manner. Studying core courses such as 'Business Economics and Public Policy', 'Monetary and Fiscal Policies', 'Money and Banking'; and supplement courses such as 'Political Change in the Third World', 'Public Policy Analysis' 'Political Economy of Modern India' would help me fulfill my ambition. In addition, it allows me to design my own curriculum and does not restrict from developing and exploring new interests. This would enable me to explore topics such as 'Geopolitics of Energy', 'Criminology/Criminal Justice', 'East Asian Diplomacy'.

Beyond the classroom, the Bloomberg terminal provides an excellent platform for research on investments, market trends, required government action/regulation to strengthen my market analysis skills. Using the Bloomberg computers to observe the rise and fall in stock market prices, the shift in investment from bonds to gold or gold to bonds with accurate data points to predict the future market. Then later, going to the group study rooms along to discuss reasons for such actions, predicting future market scenario and what government actions would seem appropriate. This serves as an opportunity to learn new perspectives on tackling market problems especially with a community as diverse as UPenn. All of this brings thrills to my nerves with excitement.

I would be doing this while I relate the situation shown on the U.S. market back to my home country in Nepal, aiming to unleash the shackles from excessive economic dependence on Indian economy and diversify our trade to other countries such as China. While encouraging an export-based growth model with access to the two giant neighboring economies.

And, for my intellectual interests, being a part of Penn GPA (Government and Political Association), specifically the Polybian society, would help me understand the current uprising issues, enhance my public speaking/ debating skills. Further, I plan to become a member of the Penn Parli (Penn Parliamentary Debate Society) where I would enhance my skills and contribute to its long list of achievements. Also, being a part of UPMUNC (UPenn Model United Nations Conference) either as a delegate or dias member would help me develop more on research, diplomacy, debate skills.

I strongly feel that UPenn is the best place for me to equip myself with knowledge, skills, and tools that I want to acquire this is why I applied for binding early decision at UPenn.

This was cohesive, specific, and really gets across your passion for education to help your country. The only thing I would change is in the first paragraph when you talk about the "Statute on Freedom of Transit 1921, Convention on Transit Trade of Landlocked States-1965 and Convention on the Law of the Sea 1982." This part is too obscure and technical. I would suggest simplifying this background information into something shorter and more concise. Everything else is strong. Good luck!

Prajain, your introduction is not really relevant to the prompt provided. How many times have we revised this essay already? Still the same mistakes about. The essay is quite prompt specific regarding the content of the prompt. It asks you about how you will spend your time pursuing your intellectual and academic interests at UPenn. Therefore, the introduction about how you spend your time Friday nights in India is irrelevant. Just take that paragraph out. Remove all references to the war that raged in India as well. That does not help to explain how you will pursue your interests at the university.

Reviewers would rather read essays that are direct to the point and relevant in content as soon as they pick up that essay. In this case, your response to the prompt does not start till paragraph 3 and by that time, the reviewer may have decided to set aside your application. Do yourself a favor and keep the interest of the reviewer by just providing the information being asked for.

I will acknowledge that the development of your interest in your course major is important. However, this essay prompt is not the place to discuss it. I am sure that there are other common app essays or open topic essays that will allow you to have a more in-depth discussion of that. Don't do it in this essay.

Again, the first paragraph is really unnecessary. Why do you insist on presenting that historical fact that does not have any relation to the prompt? Do you know what will happen when the reviewer reads that paragraph? He is going to wonder why you are giving him a lesson in the history of India when you are being asked about your academic interests. At that point, he may decide that you did not understand the prompt and stop reading your essay. He will then move on to the next one and your essay will not be read. Which means your acceptance will be in danger of rejection. Just go direct to the point and respond to the prompt using the second paragraph. That is the most relevant and most responsive to the prompt requirements. Stop presenting information that is not required nor necessary. You need to prove that you have the ability to understand and respond properly to directions. Your current opening paragraph proves the opposite of that, which is negative. The same comments apply to your 3rd paragraph. These sentences do not help to move your essay forward in the way the prompt requires so remove them. Only the comment about the Bloomberg terminal and Penn GPA and its accompanying discussion should remain. Then your response will finally be prompt responsive. Keep this statement short and relevant. Deliver only the requirements.