'the perfect school to pursue my major' - NYU Supplement

WHY NYU?
I say why not? While living in New York City for the past ten years, I have learned to explore, but I still haven't seen half of things it has to offer. Greenwich Village is a great neighborhood and the university's buildings and freshmen dorms are near the Washington Square Park. I will have the opportunity to experience an urban lifestyle and explore the rest of the city. In addition, New York City is a great place to do internships and volunteering. Apart from its amazing location, NYU is one of the few colleges that have a dual degree program in Engineering. It is a two in one package. I will have an opportunity to pursue both a liberal arts program with a major in science and an established engineering program with the Polytechnic Institute of NYU. The Dual Degree Program that NYU offers can get me both a Bachelor of Science Degree from the College of Arts and Science at NYU and the Bachelor of Science degree from the Polytechnic Institute of NYU. Also, there are twelve dual-degree combinations to choose from and I love variety. With over four hundred clubs and hundreds of sports and activities, I will always be on my toes and learn and experience new things. Thus, NYU is the perfect school to pursue my major and it's location and resources can help me prepare for the real world.

FEEDBACKS PLEASE!

Technical things:
"arts program with a major in science and an established engineering program with the Polytechnic Institute of NYU..." I'm not sure if you can "pursue" a "program" as you can "pursue" a degree. You might want to look into this word choice.

"Also, there are twelve dual-degree combinations to choose from and I love variety." there should be a comma between "from" and "and".

"Thus, NYU is the perfect school to pursue my major and it's location and resources can help me prepare for the real world." there should be a comma between "major" and "and".

"In addition, New York City is a great place to do internships and volunteering." To make it more parallel, change it to In addition, New York City is a great place for internships and volunteering.

Non-technical:

"In addition, New York City is a great place to do internships and volunteering." You should elaborate on this list possible internships and volunteering opportunities NYC has to offer.

"With over four hundred clubs and hundreds of sports and activities, I will always be on my toes and learn and experience new things." List the actually clubs and sports teams that you plan on joining and why.

Just remember that it is important to show as much as possible that you've done youre research on NYU - that you know exactly what it has to offer for you, and why each potential experience is important to you. Good Luck(:

Sorry for being so critical but I felt like I was reading the information page on NYU.
They know what they can offer but they want to know what you will do with what they offer. Be more personal.

I don't think I'd start by saying "why not?" it seems almost nonchalant...
otherwise good reasons and good response

I agree with paw1168. As i mentioned before, it's really important to also include reasons WHY you plan to participate in certain activities. WHY do the internships you mentioned interest you, is it because they offer an experience about something you are passionate about? WHY are you going to join the Buddhist Student Association? Is it because you are Buddhist and wish to share your values with others? Don't leave NYU to assume the reasons for you. As much as this is an opportunity for you to show them how interested you are in NYU with your knowledge of what it has to offer, it is also an opportunity for you to show NYU who you are as you could be a possible student a part of NYU's community.

Honestly, I don't think you should start by saying "Why Not" i agree with above comments.

Also, you seem to talk a lot about the city life which is all too common.

Thank you so much guys!!!! I am very passionate about engineering!! So the dual degree program would look awesome on my resume and Ill get better job opportunities and I'll be able to get Into a really great graduate school.