Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.
There is only one person in my life that has always given me support, courage, and strength. It was only this person who unknowingly prepared me for life by letting me watch him live his. He is no other person, but my father.
Making decisions are a big part of our life, the decisions that we make everyday shape our future. But what if you had to decide between your family and your life-long dream, my father was faced with this life-changing decision when he was only 17 years old. My father graduated from high school when he was 16 years old and he was immediately accepted into one of India's top engineering colleges. Unfortunately, my grandparents were going through some financial strain and weren't able to pay for my father's college, and in India, there are no such things as scholarships. So, my grandmother's parents were paying for my father's education. But, after his first year in college, he could see that his family needed him to provide for them.
He had two choices, either he could continue with 5 years of engineering college and then start making money or he had received a job opportunity from the Merchant Navy, which is India's commercial shipping industry, it's made up of shipping companies that own and manage many different types and sizes of ships. With the Merchant Navy, he could earn money while he would be training for two years and instantly he would receive a job after his training was complete.
Although he had always wanted to become an engineer, he couldn't turn his back on his family, so he decided to accept the Merchant Navy job offer, even though he knew what the future consequences would be. He knew that Merchant Navy would require him to be out of the country for more than 6 months at a time, he knew that it would take him away from his family a lot, and he knew that he would have to miss many precious moments with his children. But, he was willing to go through all of that for his family. My father gave up his dream, without knowing what the future held for him. I can't possibly imagine having to make that kind of decision at any age, especially at the age of 17.
Through this experience, one of the many things I learnt from my father is the importance of courage and of making decisions not only for your own good, but for the good of other people who care for you and who are important in your life. Courage is willing to accept responsibility and take all the steps that are necessary for the good of others. Courage is not thinking only about yourself but also about people who care for you. Courage is about giving up your own dreams willingly to fulfill someone else's dreams. Courage is about not complaining but about doing the right thing. Courage isn't something that makes you look like a hero, it isn't something that you're just born with, and even if you have courage, it doesn't mean you still aren't afraid in the back of your mind, it only means that you have the strength to pull through.
Hi!!
I think you should include more details on how your father has influenced you.
Delete the first two lines....make the start a little more revealing rather than direct.Start with your second para(Making decisions are a big part of our life, the decisions that we....).
My opinion is you should use language which is a little more formal(shipping industry, it's made up of shipping companies)
Infact delete the rest of the sentence after the comma...it does not add anything to the essay.
As I mentioned earlier dont just make the concluding para tlk about the influence....bring it out throughout the essay.
Tip:Keep revising your essay again and again....you will always be able to cut out on some extra part and add something better.
Overall the whole idea and everything is actually good.
Good Luck!!
