This is my essay about my phasmophobia which I have written to apply for my undergraduate studies in the USA. It is still not complete but I would like to get some reviews about what i have written so far. I would also like to complete this essay by discussing here about how to proceed further in this essay.
Thank you very much.
Ghosts- the very thought of them irks me. I am on one of those many individuals who fear these phantom creatures. Not even knowing whether they exist or not, furthermore intensifies my fear for them. I had never thought the consequences of watching my first horror movie would be so terrifying, but still these movies captured me as they made me nervous and excited at the same time. This bad habit I have to regret: it was the reason I became a phasmophobic.
Even when I didn't know what ghosts really were, I had grown this fear inside of me. How my fear did grow stronger? Is it because of the scary stories I've heard from my grandmother about her past or my mother terrorizing me with ghost stories when I did not listen to her. Then there came a time when this fear became so overwhelming and powerful that I started imagining ghosts everywhere; under my bed, on the staircase and sometimes beside me. Yet I was so interested and indulged in watching the movies that I used to drag someone or the other to watch it with me. This resulted in many nights where I couldn't sleep a wink strongly believing that these creatures from the movies might haunt me. This is one of the reasons I sleep with my lights on.
Are the ghosts real? I always asked myself the same question repeatedly, why I should be scared of something whose existence I'm not sure of. There were times when I gathered up all my courage and overcome my fear. I tried to watch the horror movies alone. There was one time when I was half asleep and I heard some paranormal noises from the kitchen, holding the thought of confronting the paranormal alone, I tried to move downstairs but to my despair I couldn't even take one step on the staircase and ran straight back to bed; only to find out it was my dog.
Although I know that I have not overcome my fear fully but I have overcome it to some extent.
Now when I try to internalize and know myself more, I feel that it is not merely the fear of ghosts but it is something to do with my nature - my innate nature which is related wit the fear of the unknown and hesitance to something new. I know that if I make some changes in my nature, I will be able to get rid of my fear. I do believe that with determination and confidence I will overcome my fear one day.
Ghosts- the very thought of them
irks IRRITATES me.
Not even knowing whether they exist or not, further
more intensifies my fear for them.
my fear did DID MY FEAR grow stronger?
There were times when I gathered up all my courage and
overcome OVERCAME my fear.[/fon Although I know that I have not overcome my fear fully, ONLY but I have overcome it to some extent.
* I am curious about what stories your mother "terrorized you with when you did not listen". I think you could elaborate on that which would lengthen and strengthen your essay as well as possibly helping you get to the root of your TRUE fear. You could also elaborate on some imagery like how you picture ghosts or spirits, sights, sounds, sensory elements, etc. Finally, it might create some more substance to add whether or not you have shared these fears/feelings with others, what their feedback is, whether they agree, disagree, tease you, etc.
Hopefully this has helped in some way.
Good job and good luck :)