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'physics' - UIUC prompt 1:my academic interests



xujunjiejack 4 / 7  
Nov 23, 2013   #1
I'm not sure whether my essay fits the prompt well. I welcome any suggestion both in the structure and grammar. Thank you

Prompt 1:(I haven't declared the major)Explain your academic interests and strengths or your future career goals. You may include any majors or areas of study you are currently considering. Please limit your response to approximately 300 words.

When it comes to majors, I find it difficult for me to decide. Roughly, I would like to enter the college of Liberal Arts and Science in the University of Illinois, because I enjoy gaining different knowledge. In my high school, I did well in almost every subject the school taught me. In addition to the school courses, I have taken part in many out-school activities during these years. I have listened to a report made by the former captain of Chinese Antarctic Great Wall Station, and also taken several philosophy courses given by a university professor. After all those activities, I realized that the world is full of exciting things that I can never imagine, and waiting for me to explore.

If I were forced to choose a major, the physics or psychology would be my choice.

In my opinion, physics is a subject to explain how the world operates, how the matters like energy, light compose our universe. Although physics is taught in my high school, my teacher only teaches us how to do endless exercises. What really arouses my interest in physics is the Yale's online open courses of basic physics. I watched several periods. They provided me a whole new way to understand the physics laws, which are only told but not proved in my high school. Hence, I'd like to learn more in college.

As to the psychology, I think it has a common place with the physics. It reveals the basic pattern of human behavior, just like the physics seeking basic rules of nature. I'm quite fond of finding the potential connection among things. Thanks to the book<Psychology and Life>, I knew the psychology, learned the different experiments and of course, had more questions.

14janicel 3 / 15  
Nov 24, 2013   #2
The first sentence in itself detracts readers away from reading the rest of the essay. Since first impression are important in the real world, I suggest you explain your indecisiveness later on in the essay. The remainder of your essay fits the prompt pretty well in my opinion.
OP xujunjiejack 4 / 7  
Nov 25, 2013   #3
Thanks for your comment. Will it be better?

When it comes to majors, I find it difficult for me to decide. Roughly, I would like to enter the college of Liberal Arts and Science in the University of Illinois, because I enjoy gaining different knowledge. In my high school, I did well in almost every subject the school taught me. In addition to the school courses, I have taken part in many out-school activities during these years. I have listened to a report made by the former captain of Chinese Antarctic Great Wall Station, and also taken several philosophy courses given by a university professor. After all those activities, I realized that the world is full of exciting things that I can never imagine, and waiting for me to explore.

If I were forced to choose a major, the physics or psychology would be my choice. Among my wide interests, physics and psychology fascinate me most. Their unique charms establish them as the majors I may choose in the future.


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