Places where I have lived? / existing within a community? BROWN SUPPLEMENTS

Here are two supplements for Brown University. PLEASE READ THEM, CORRECT THEM, AND MASSACRE THEM IF NEEDED. Thank You (;

Tell us where you have lived - and for how long - since you were born; whether you've always lived in the same place, or perhaps in a variety of places. (100 word limit)

I must admit that living in Puerto Rico for 17 years may sound boring; but at the same time, it has given me the opportunity to grow surrounded by people from other cultures such as: Venezuelans, Colombians, Chileans, and Cubans, among others. My home has become a melting pot for other cultures that integrates their differences into our society. Living in PR has brought diversity into my life; it has taught me to value the difference in people and provided me with a wider understanding of the in. 93/100

We all exist within communities or groups of various sizes, origins, and purposes; pick one and tell us why it is important to you, and how it has shaped you. (100 word limit)

Whenever I see a problem, am inducted into a community of free thinkers, of dreamers, of doers. The engineering side of my immediately is let free to roam and think about the best way to fix this problem. That's what engineering is, finding extraordinary ways of solving problems and never accepting they cannot be improved. Within the engineering community, there exists no "I". We share our stories of failed tries and look for ways to make it better; whenever I need help in a project, I ask for I am not afraid to ask questions in order to learn. I am extremely proud to be a part of a group of individuals that supports each other so together, we can meet future challenges with innovation. 125/100

Good start! I understand the word count is limiting, but I think what would help to make your supplements stronger if you do more showing than telling. Maybe show a moment where " other cultures that integrates their differences into our society" and illustrate a time (for the second one) that you approached a problem, worked as a team, asked questions to accelerate the process, etc.

Good Work! but there are several problems. MOst related with the second one as the first one is good.

so for the second, I think that you are misunderstanding the prompt. THe prompt asks you to reflect on a community you have been part of for a significant amount of time, or the group where you were born. Even if you decide to stick woth this one I think you should revise the end. The part with theprofessor is a bit odd. Since it is only 100 words just describe and dont give an example.

ther was one small error in the first sentence

Whenever I see a problem, I am inducted into a community of free thinkers, of dreamers, of doers.

good luck!

Looks good! For the second one, I understand that the community you are addressing is the engineering community, but is there a specific one that you were a part of? You mentioned building a a code controlled robot, were you on a team? Club? Outside activity? I also think you can expand on this sentence: "That's what engineering is, finding extraordinary ways of solving problems and never accepting they cannot be improved." by talking more about asking for guidance and questioning that improved the project and accelerate your learning. How did that shape you? How did this community shape you? Putting yourself more into the words will make your story more powerful and unique.

Good work so far :)