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UC Prompt #1: Planting the Seed


kstevens 2 / 3  
Nov 27, 2009   #1
UC Prompt #1 - Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

When I was young, I used to sever saplings at their trunk and replant them in the soil assuming that they would keep growing as if nothing had disrupted their life. For some reason, the concept that a seed was vital for growth had not yet processed in my immature mind. When I came back the next day to find my baby withered, I thought nothing of it but to plant another using the same method. It wasn't until years later that my mother taught me of the seed, the body that gives rise to a new individual. She taught me that once the seed grows into an adult tree, it produces new seeds that may choose a path for life as they wish.

I was born and raised in __________, California, population 3,600. In this small town in which I dwell, the freedom to choose, at my age, is rarely existent. The barriers this small town presents me with often close my options. Unlike most college bound students, the options given to me are limited and there is virtually nothing I can do about it. In my world, the high school I choose to go to be not a question, for it is the only public high school in my town. In my school of 400 students, the curriculum I must choose between is usually not a hard decision either. With only one teacher teaching each subject, one honors course, and one foreign language, the decisions are simply made for me. However, one choice I do have is the way I choose to plant my seed of the future.

My seed consists of everything that I am: a determination to be successful in everything that crosses my path, an aspiration to be involved in those extramural activities that will fill the gap of my limited educational options, and an ultimate dream to have the freedom of choice in my future. Upon realization that this was the life I wanted to lead, I planted my seed and have been growing ever since. My world of narrow option has provided the future I strive for, a future of choice. The seed I have planted for myself will guarantee numerous branches of option and opportunity so that my years ahead will not be restricted to the ordinary, but open to the optimum.
dcarreno1 1 / 20  
Nov 27, 2009   #2
When I was young, I used to sever saplings at their trunk, and
re- plant them in the soil assuming that they would keep growing as if nothing had disrupted their life.

When I came back the next day to find my baby withered, I thought nothing of it but to plant another using the same method. Try using another word than baby, sounds more formal.

It wasn'twas not until years later, that my mother taught explained me ofthe concept of the seed, the body that gives rise to a new individual. Like this sentence :)

I was born and raised in __________, California, which holds a population of 3,600.

The barriers this small town presents me with, often close my options.

Maybe this sentence would sound better like this:
Unlike most college bound students, the options given to me are limited. Virtually there was nothing I could do about it, because it is the only public high school in my town.

My seed consists of everything that I am: a determination to be successful in everything that crosses my path, an aspiration to be involved in those extramural activities that will fill the gap of my limited educational options, and an ultimate dream to have the freedom of choice in my future. Love this sentence Too. :)

The seed I have planted for myself will guarantee numerous branches of option and opportunity so that my years ahead will not be restricted to the ordinary, but open to the optimum. Good conclusion

I loved how you used the interpretation of the seed. It gaves a uniqueness to your paper. One thing that was missing or maybe I did not catch it is your aspirations and dreams. If you dont have this included in your paper make sure to include it. Other than that your essay was great it truely has personality.

If you dont mind I also posted a final draft of my personal statement. Check it out and let me know what you think. Thanks!


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