"Pledge of Allegiance Controversy" ApplyTexas Essay Topic B

PROMPT: Choose an issue of importance to you- the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope- and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." We associate these words with something we all recite at the beginning of school each day. But this isn't true for every school in the United States. I lived in Oregon for the first 10 years of my school life and by the time that I entered Jr. High, The Pledge was completely abolished from our everyday routine. It is said that the phrase "under God" has been reigned unconstitutional (CNN, 9/13/10), therefore it would no longer be acceptable to recite in public schools. I feel that saying the pledge in public schools should be the norm and each student should be allowed to say it or to opt out if it is against what they believe. The reciting of The Pledge of Allegiance itself is extremely significant to my generation not only because it boosts the recognition we give God for the role he has played in the building of our country and glorifies what all our nation stands for, but also I believe that if The Pledge were to be eradicated my generation and my children's generation would be put at risk for living in a Godless unpatriotic country.

Our country thrives on the basis that everything has been given to us by God. Having the phrase "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance is perfectly fitting because it gives each of us the opportunity to concede all our material accomplishments as works of God. The keyword being opportunity, no one has been forced to recite The Pledge; rather each person has the freedom to choose whether or not they wish to say it. For that reason, The Pledge of Allegiance is not unconstitutional, but taking away our privilege to give recognition to God through The Pledge most certainly is unconstitutional. Our nation was brought to greatness through Christian principles and being that 82% of the United States population is Christian (adherents.com 9/15/10), it seems only fitting for The Pledge to address God and his importance in the building of our nation. Saying The Pledge each day as a child in public school is crucial in that it will teach my generation and generations to come that God is our ruler and our nation's ruler; that the groundwork for our country is indeed works of God.

When The Pledge was written, its purpose was to teach what our wonderful nation stands for. It is an oath for us to declare that we are committed to the United States and its democracy. Also, it is a promise to us as a people that the U.S.A. will stand together as an inseparable free nation with one ruler, God, who will guide our nation without fault. Learning this at a young age will teach children what it means to be an American, therefore granting them the opportunity to do all they can to keep it that way for their generation. If the Pledge of Allegiance is omitted from what is taught to children in public schools, it will hinder his or her ability to keep the nation moving in the direction that it was originally intended to go. Our forefathers founded this nation with certain principles, principles that have always kept the American population happy, motivated to not change what was initially set as the foundation for our country. The present generation in power feels it is necessary to change a lot of what was set as our nation's standards; I feel that this is because they weren't taught properly what all our principles represent and what it means to be an American. The Pledge of Allegiance is an outstanding tool used to teach those very philosophies, so why take this away from our future leaders? Why disadvantage them with the lack information about our country? It's only fair to me, my generation, and all the generations to come to enlighten the children about our nation, its principles, and how America is the greatest country to live in, thus providing our nation with willing and capable leaders.

I believe that the eradication of The Pledge would only be the beginning. Since the government feels it is necessary to obliterate the reciting of the Pledge of Allegiance from public school's everyday routine because it includes the words "under God," what is stopping them from restraining students the right to pray before a test or to have a moment of silence for prayer or personal reflection? We need to fight for our freedom on this issue, because if we don't it may become too late, and future generations will have to bear the burden that we are preparing for them. I feel that by prohibiting the performing of the Pledge of Allegiance, it will lead to further nullification of other everyday rights we all are entitled to as United State citizens. Is this what we want our children to learn? I for one, want the future generations of our nation's leaders to be well informed of Gods role in the building of our country and what it means to be an American. We can insure this will take place if the children in public schools are granted the opportunity to learn this through the Pledge of Allegiance. Otherwise, I fear that my generation and future generations will be put at risk for living in a Godless unpatriotic country.

Alex,

You have written a very strong, convincing essay, and I want to thank you for choosing the topic, because what you have said needed to be said. I would like to add -- the reason your pledge was removed while you were in Oregon is simply because Oregon happens to be in the so-called 9th District, which has been ultra-liberal for years! The people living in the 9th District of this country live in a different world than the rest of us, indeed.

Your essay is extremely powerful. I am not sure that I would change anything. However, I would like you to leave it on the forum and have Kevin (also) look at it. He is good at what he does and he might find something that needs correcting.

You are indeed a gifted writer.

Thanks,

Mark

Thank you so much, Mark!

Also, It would be great if Kevin could take a look.

Besides the fact that our nation was founded on the principle of separation of church and state, what you have said in your essay will assuredly alienate a good portion of the admissions board at the university to which you are applying.

I don't want my children to be influenced by a public school system, which runs on my tax dollars, to subscribe to any religious belief. From a rational point of view, your bottom line is "schools should be allowed to brainwash the youth of America into believing in an omniscient, omnipresent sky being which controls every aspect of life."

Aside from your poor choice of topic, there were many grammatical errors within your essay.


Don't capitalize the first word after a comma.


Make sure your pronouns are used properly. Because 'children' is plural, the pronoun should be plural as well.


If you are referring to more than one public school, it should be written public schools'. Again, 'the government' is singular - you used the plural pronoun 'them'. Also, 'restraining students the right to pray' is worded improperly. You could say 'withholding from students the right to pray', but they way you have it doesn't make sense.

I would suggest that you change the topic of your essay to something which is more universally agreeable. I understand that the prompt is to write an essay about an issue of importance to you, but religion is a very sensitive subject. To infer that people, who don't share the same beliefs as you, are unpatriotic is fairly ignorant and will only serve to hurt your chances of admission. There is nothing wrong with expressing your beliefs, just wait until you are already a student at the university.

Mind you, I am not a moderator of these forums. Good luck.

Well if reciting it is the norm, then there is some pressure to participate. Especially when children are too young to understand the words.

I always thought it was a bit like creepy indoctrination. I really do love the heroic story of America's founding and the huge splash it made... I sincerely am inspired by the ideology of America, but i just think the Pledge is some creepy indoctrination. I never understood what the words meant in that pledge,,, not until high school!

Also, it is a promise to us as a people that the U.S.A. will stand together as an inseparable free nation with one ruler, God, who will guide our nation without fault. --------this is so religiously bias. I think Jesus was a hero, but you have to admit: America is predominantly Christian, but it is also founded on the principle of religious freedom! So why impose a Christian slant on the Pledge. Like Austin said, that separation of church from state is a key aspect of American religious freedom.

The Pledge of Allegiance is an outstanding tool used to teach those very philosophies, so why take this away from our future leaders? Why disadvantage them with the lack information about our country--- the Pledge does not give much information.

what is stopping them from restraining students the right to pray before a test or to have a moment of silence for prayer or personal reflection? We need to fight for our freedom on this issue, ---- well, i guess I disagree with you about the issue. You can't really say anyone's freedom is being taken away, can you? It seems that freedom is not being taken away. All that is being taken away is a practice of blatant indoctrination that is contrary to American values like individual thinking, etc. As an American, I should pledge to not be too dependent on the government (see Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" and "Walden").

Pledging allegiance to the government, as if to say you will support it no matter what the President and Congress decide to do, is contrary to American values expressed by Thoreau.

Anyway, you can see from Mark's perspective that your argument represents a view shared by others. So, definitely don't let yourself be discouraged by me playing the devil's advocate. Is it good to have kids recite a pledge like this in 21st century America? I don't have a strong opinion, so I don't want to offend anyone. I enjoy your essay no matter what!

There is no doubt that the Pledge is nothing more than indoctrination! I agree with that, but there has to be a point at which we are all socialized, and because children at a young age do not have the capacity to think for themselves, and because their minds are like sponges, it becomes necessary to permit them to think in a certain way in order to protect the essence of the union. If, for example, the pledge was never said or heard by a youngster, and then one day, he or she heard something from, for example, the Communist Manifesto, what then? Who is to blame the child for thinking that the manifesto has its merits? Well, I would say that society would be to blame, for not taking the time and the effort to indoctrinate the child correctly.

Just my own thoughts, Kevin. And, no, I don't agree with much that the 9th Circuit comes up with these days!

Mark

So we have a responsibility to indoctrinate kids to a certain extent in order to give them a good foundation so that they don't end up embracing a less desirable ideology? I'll give that concept the name, the "Indoctrination as Inoculation" argument.

I've never thought that way, but I also make mistakes all the time, so maybe you are right! :-)

I always thought of it differently, associating indoctrination with brainwashing. But you might be right; if a small amount of indoctrination really can help prevent kids from choosing their own ideology, then that is very useful to people who feel certain about an ideology.

I did not post this essay to start a religious debate. I wrote what I believe, and do not appreciate my essay topic being picked apart and marked as, for lack of a better word, stupid. Kevin, you said: "well, i guess I disagree with you about the issue." Frankly, I don't care what you believe, I put this essay up to be critqued not for its meaning but for its grammatical errors and such. Lets be mature here and put this website to use for what it was meant for: to help others by revising their essays regardless of what the topic is. Austin, being that I am applying to all CHRISTIAN COLLEGES the topic fits perfectly.

Thanks for your opinions, but it will not change the topic am writing on or how I go about stating my view point. Also, from here on out could we revise essays keeping our beliefs to ourselves out of respect for the writer?

Thanks again, and if there are any revisions you would like to state that don't have to do with how my belifes differ form yours, feel free to post them!

Alex

You write very well already. When someone writes very well, the way to help is to challenge the arguments or give feedback about the experience the essay provided. It is good if people debate issues like this, and the only way to give feedback is to tell what thoughts come to mind.

Anyway, this is a great thread.

There is something you need to understand. If you want respect, you must give respect. I'll explain.


By saying this, you imply that non-christians are unpatriotic. That is disrespectful. Rather than focus on how disrespectful this point of view is, I tried to make it clear that saying something like this has the potential to offend your audience. When you write, you should always keep your audience in mind.


You may be applying to christian schools, but when you post your essay on a public forum, be prepared for a different reception. If your main problems exist in the content of your essay, you shouldn't want people to sugarcoat the issues.

To put it simply, you are wrong. I do not dispute the validity of your religious beliefs because the existence of a God can not be physically confirmed or dispelled. I do believe, however, you are incorrect in your understanding of religion in relation to the US govt.

This is the first clause of the first amendment to the US constitution:

"Congress shall make no law respecting the establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof"

Now, here is a passage from your essay:

"If the Pledge of Allegiance is omitted from what is taught to children in public schools, it will hinder his or her ability to keep the nation moving in the direction that it was originally intended to go (as a nation with one ruler, God)"

Not only is this statement wrong, but because the Bill of Rights is easily accessible to anyone with an internet connection (which you clearly have), it could be classified as stupid.


As we know from history, our nation is divisible. It was only under the leadership of Abraham Lincoln - a generally non-religious person - which the union was restored.

Finally, it is absurd to say that anybody will guide our nation without fault - especially God. If this is the case, you attribute the institution of slavery, the deaths of millions of indigenous peoples at the hands of Americans, the nuclear attacks on Japan, chemical attacks on Vietnamese civilians, and federally supported segregation to a "faultless" God.

I do not say this maliciously, but your essay has many faults - your essay, not your beliefs - which need to be addressed.

EF Kevin

"If you just think the Pledge is some creepy indoctrination and never understood what the words meant in that pledge,,, not until high school!" then you were never shown by your family or education system what it meant and that the words were not "creepy".

Maybe this link will open the eyes and ears of other folks who may have this view and gain a little knowledge about our country and the people who make her what it is. It may be from 1969 but it is well told by a television Icon.

youtube.com/watch?v=LPbIls0iOnI