'plethora of opportunities' - The Ohio State University Essay

Hi guys this is the admissions essay for Ohio State University.

The prompt is: Why are you considering Ohio State University?

I need help on the closing. Thanks!

Ohio State University Essay
The feeling of going far away from home while still being close by; the feeling of a challenging small school environment in one of the largest campuses in the nation; and the opportunity to study whatever interests you, even if you're exploring what you want to be. This is why I am considering The Ohio State University.

I live in a suburb of Cincinnati and I have always wanted to get away from Cincinnati and even Ohio; that is until I visited the Buckeyes campus, and realized that I did not have to go very far to find what I was looking for.

Ohio State has an enormous campus and a large, diverse student body, but another wonderful thing about this university is its ability to give the feeling of a small school environment through the specialized honors and scholars programs which give highly talented students access into a smaller community inside of the larger Ohio State community. The programs challenge driven students to reach their potential and interact with other like-minded people, while still giving them individual attention to achieve the most out of the college experience.

The best thing about Ohio State University is its plethora of opportunities. My interest lies in medical or biomedical sciences, but my goal is med school. At Ohio State, I plan to earn a B.S. in biomedical engineering, or enroll in the medical pre-professional program and then apply to med school. With over 160 majors and the pre-professional programs, I feel that I can succeed no matter what path I choose. The opportunities are endless at The Ohio State University.

Maybe instead of saying "but" you can relate your interests to your goals. Talk about how OSU would allow you to pursue both. Anyway, I liked your essay, it shows that you know the school well :-)


You might want to put a colon there instead of a period, just throwing that out there.


"Cincinnati and even Ohio--that is, until I"?

talented students access in to
community inside of the larger

...opportunity to study whatever interests me, even if I am still exploring what I want to be.

This sentence would be good at the start of the first paragraph:
I live in a suburb of Cincinnati and I have always wanted to get away from Cincinnati and even Ohio; that is until I visited the Buckeyes campus, and realized that I did not have to go very far to find what I was looking for. The feeling of going far away from home ....

Ohio State has an enormous campus and a large, diverse student body, but another wonderful thing about this university is its ability to give the feeling of a small school environment through the ----- too much like a brochure. Do not waste words with this. Say something about your glimpse into medicine and who your heroes are... about your plan for these next few years and why this school is the best place to enact it.

There must be a reason this school, though not the only suitable school, is the one you are choosing. Maybe it is because of a philosophy they promote or something that distinguishes them from other schools.

The best thing about Ohio State University is its plethora of opportunities.---- to general. You do not need 160 majors. Even if you are undecided, you can tell them what you ARE sure about in life... and how the unique traits of this school make it your #1 choice (having a lot of majors or small class size is not unique.)

It is too common to write about small class size, 160 majors, etc. This will not set you apart. Determine what sets the school apart from other schools, and tell them about how that makes the school perfect for your plan.

Dig deep! What distinguishes the school, and what distinguishes you? It does not have to be a super impressive distinction... just has to be distinct. Do not write anything that might appear in a brochure. Make a unique observation about the school and about yourself.

I like your essays, but like others before me suggested, i think you should research the school more and give ideas about more personal things you like about the university, rather than things we can find by just looking at their website. You seem like a great writer, so i hope this advice can help you.