I just wrote this out for the application to UT. Though I'm graduating next year my communication skills are very bad. Please review my essay and let me know whether it is fit to be posted.
Prompt: Choose an issue of importance to you and how it impacts you
In this highly sensitive world, a small decision could have unimaginable effects. That is why my major concern today is on the future of my country India which has more political parties than are in whole of Americas.
The number of politicians who have a clean hand and who really care for the country are, I'm afraid, too little. Most of them try to bring down the government to seize power for their personal gains. This can be seen clearly from their policies which demand a separate state with a separate government.
The only requirement to become a Chief Minister (equivalent to Governor in the US) is to be 18 years or older. They do not even require a pass in second grade. So the decisions they make will purely be based on experience and the consequences of such decisions may be severe.
Firstly, it can damage the international relations with different countries. For example, it may lead to the situation that happened in 1980s when India interfered in Sri Lanka's internal matters which gave India the name "Big Brother".
Secondly, poor economic policies of a country can damage its own resources and sometimes may lead to the downfall of the country itself. Several companies can become broke due to a slight error. It shoots up the prices of essential commodities, transport, shelter and even education. As a result, more and more people are being forced to lower their style of living & the food they eat and are refused good education due to lack of funds.
Thirdly, politicians tend to be extremists. Special attention is openly given to their respective religions and some even go to the extent of inciting crowds against one another. Moreover, they tend to reserve at-least 85% of the college seats and the government jobs for the caste based minorities. As students, this affects us because the so called minorities tend to get into reputed institutions by putting in lesser effort than the so called upper class. Ultimately, the level of services in the country come down which explains the brain drain here.
Democracy is openly mocked by the politicians through their influence and the support of their followers. In one such incident, the Chief Minister of a state could not be arrested with mountains of data against him. His home was made the prison and his wife, who did not go to school, ruled the state for the rest of the years. This made youngsters think "If the politicians can do it why not us?".
And finally, a poorly managed country is a cozy nest for terrorists, lawbreakers and violence which are the three main factors to be avoided at all costs. They are very unfavorable for the prosperity of its people and the country as a whole.
Due to the above stated reasons the educated people here had shunned away politics. But more and more people are now taking active part in politics to put an end to this tyranny.
And I would like to know where I stand and so I would appreciate it if you could grade my essay out of 5
Thank You
Prompt: Choose an issue of importance to you and how it impacts you
In this highly sensitive world, a small decision could have unimaginable effects. That is why my major concern today is on the future of my country India which has more political parties than are in whole of Americas.
The number of politicians who have a clean hand and who really care for the country are, I'm afraid, too little. Most of them try to bring down the government to seize power for their personal gains. This can be seen clearly from their policies which demand a separate state with a separate government.
The only requirement to become a Chief Minister (equivalent to Governor in the US) is to be 18 years or older. They do not even require a pass in second grade. So the decisions they make will purely be based on experience and the consequences of such decisions may be severe.
Firstly, it can damage the international relations with different countries. For example, it may lead to the situation that happened in 1980s when India interfered in Sri Lanka's internal matters which gave India the name "Big Brother".
Secondly, poor economic policies of a country can damage its own resources and sometimes may lead to the downfall of the country itself. Several companies can become broke due to a slight error. It shoots up the prices of essential commodities, transport, shelter and even education. As a result, more and more people are being forced to lower their style of living & the food they eat and are refused good education due to lack of funds.
Thirdly, politicians tend to be extremists. Special attention is openly given to their respective religions and some even go to the extent of inciting crowds against one another. Moreover, they tend to reserve at-least 85% of the college seats and the government jobs for the caste based minorities. As students, this affects us because the so called minorities tend to get into reputed institutions by putting in lesser effort than the so called upper class. Ultimately, the level of services in the country come down which explains the brain drain here.
Democracy is openly mocked by the politicians through their influence and the support of their followers. In one such incident, the Chief Minister of a state could not be arrested with mountains of data against him. His home was made the prison and his wife, who did not go to school, ruled the state for the rest of the years. This made youngsters think "If the politicians can do it why not us?".
And finally, a poorly managed country is a cozy nest for terrorists, lawbreakers and violence which are the three main factors to be avoided at all costs. They are very unfavorable for the prosperity of its people and the country as a whole.
Due to the above stated reasons the educated people here had shunned away politics. But more and more people are now taking active part in politics to put an end to this tyranny.
And I would like to know where I stand and so I would appreciate it if you could grade my essay out of 5
Thank You
