This is my common application extracurricular essay. I just want to receive some feedback on it and whether or not I am heading the right way. Please comment or edit for me and I will also return the favor by editing your paper! Please and thank you!
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).
My junior year, I joined a club called DECA by being introduced to it from a friend. DECA is a non-profit student organization. Also, it is an internationally known high school and college club that prepares students for careers in marketing, finance, hospitality and management. Although the club has business aspects to it, it also involves leadership and working together. In DECA, there are competitions that people do in order to move up. For people to compete in competitions, they need to pick events. At regionals, state and nationals, people are required to take two tests: product knowledge (test about the event that people selected for themselves) and an economy test. Regionals involves doing one role play (where you are given a business situation and talk about how you would improve that business). If done well at regionals, then comes state. State involves doing two role plays. The people that are selected in the top five at state go to nationals. Nationals is held in a different city every year. If a person wins at nationals, they get an award and a college scholarship. People that do a written event for Regionals are guaranteed to go to State.
I joined DECA at first because I wanted to see what it was about and what it was like. Then, I realized that a curiosity turned into something way more. It turned into a love for a club. The list of benefits that I gained from joining DECA is endless for me. My chapter advisers are extremely supportive and the fact that they are comical makes being in the club so much more fun. They are always available to me when I need help with role plays or written events. Also, I've gained many more friends since I've joined.
My position in DECA is the Vice President of Communications. As the Vice President of Communications, my responsibilities in the club are to set up events that would get the club involved, help members with role plays, get study material for the members for Regionals, State or Nationals, organize the competitions for the club, organize fundraisers, and book guest speakers.
This is well over 1000 characters. The word "character" has 9 characters. With the quotes, it has eleven.
You have over 2000 characters here.
AHHH! I mistakenly thought characters as words! Thank you so much for catching that for me!
Yup this definitely over 1000 characters so i think you should cut out the stuff about how to move up because that doesnt really relate to you.
My junior year, I joined a club called DECA after being introduced to it by a friend. A non-profit student organization, DECA is also an internationally known high school and college club that prepares students for careers in marketing, finance, hospitality and management . Although the club has business aspects to it, it also involves leadership and working togetherwhile developing leadership and team skills . In DECA, there are competitions that people do in order to move up. For people to compete in competitions, they need to pick events. At regionals, state and nationals, people are required to take two tests: product knowledge (test about the event that people selected for themselves) and an economy test. Regionals involves doing one role play (where you are given a business situation and talk about how you would improve that business). If done well at regionals, then comes state. State involves doing two role plays. The people that are selected in the top five at state go to nationals. Nationals is held in a different city every year. If a person wins at nationals, they get an award and a college scholarship. People that do a written event for Regionals are guaranteed to go to State.I put this in green because you need to either completely cut this out or you could try to work parts of it into the section below to show how it helped you grow
I joined DECA out of pure curiousityand then that a curiosity turned into something way more ], a love for a club . The list of benefits that I gained from joining DECA is endless for me. My chapter advisers are extremely supportive and the fact that they are comical makes being in the club so much more fun . I don't think this is necessary, why would you still be in it if it wasn't fun?and are always available to me when I need help with role plays or written events. Also, I've gained many more friends since I've joined.Not too sure about this here...maybe you could say it differently mentioning something about team work? maybe that 'how to move up' section there can be used to show that?My position in DECA is the Vice President of Communications.If anything you've already made this known when you listed your activities on the activities section so you don't have to say it again. As the Vice President of Communications, my responsibilities in the club are to set up events that would get the club involved, help members with role plays, get study material for the members for Regionals, State or Nationals, organize the competitions for the club, organize fundraisers, and book guest speakers. uuuhhhhm, ok i think you prob should have put the 'joined DECA out of curiousity stuff around the beginning and also what your role in it is, because as your essay is now it seems all over the place
