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Essay presented for homeschool student - help with grammar



Angela629 9 / 86  
Dec 4, 2008   #1
This essay has no prompt, it's just an additional document presented for homeschool student, please help to review the grammatical mistakes.

As a homeschooled student, I would like to elaborate on my pre-homeschool and homeschool history to make my application seem more clear and understandable.

I was born and raised in China until I was ten years old. At first I lived with my extended family, then I moved into my new home with my nuclear family at the age of five. I spent my kindergarden years in my hometown (at JianOu Experimental Kindergarden); but just before I finished, my father went to United Arab Emirates to work, and two years later, my mother went there too. Before she left, she placed me at my piano teacher's so that someone will look after me while she was gone, and I spent a year living with her while studied at JianOu Experimental Elementary School. I finished grade three in my hometown's elementary school (JianOu Experimental Elementary School) and grade four in a boarding school (FuZhou YangGuang International Elementary school) in the capital city of the province. Then, after I went back to my hometown, started grade five for half a month, mum took me and my cousin (her elder brother's daughter) to United Arab Emirates to live and study there. (Earlier that year, my parents divorced; the court issued official papers that stated my father to pay some money, approximately 200 U.S dollars per year, for my daily need in China, which became merely enough when compared to the need in the UAE) While in the UAE, I spent a year learning English in British Council Institute and later, 3 months in a school near my apartment to audit, so was not credited for the study. Later that year, I went to Dubai National School for the next academic year, where they use an American-based curriculum with a mix of Arabic-language teaching, to study grade six. Initially, the officials didn't agree that I should enter grade six since I haven't finished grade five fully. However, do not wish to stay in grade five for another yeart, mum sent for transcripts from my elementary school to prove that I had completed grade five final term examination, which I have took before I left China, and passed. They decided to allow me to take the entrance test, which I got a 100 in Math and 98 in English.

I studied grade six and seven in Dubai National School and have took numerous awards during this time not only in the academic field but in other fields as well. Also, during this period of time, I took up my third language, Arabic. In the first school year, I studied Arabic as a special student (this course is offered to international students learning Arabic as a beginner). I graduated from grade six as the only A++ and honor student, (since I got an average of A+ over all 4 terms of school), and broke the school's highest average mark, 97.75. I was also the Spelling Bee Champion for my grade and took fourth place in Girl's backstroke at the National Championships. The following year, mum decided that I could take a chance and try to master into the regular class along with the regular students. It was extremely hard at the beginning, not only do I encounter problems from the language, I was stuck with my Arabic teacher, who did not wish me enter this class. I had to memorize at least 50 Arabic words a day and practice them everyday with my classmates. However, I had some mixed feelings about it when I got a 76 on my final exam. I was thrilled that I succeeded again in such short period of time, but I was also kind of unhappy because who used to be an A+ student became an A- student. Nevertheless, in any school terms, my grade was never less than A and I was always in the top five students even during regular Arabic studies. I graduated grade seven with an A average and was also given a special honor due to my linguistic success in Arabic (because it only took one year for me to go from the beginner class to the regular class, or from grade one to seven). I was also the Spelling Bee champion of the year for my grade and chosen as one of the best oral presenters of the year when competed between Grade with higher grades, eight and nine, and was awarded a MP3 player for my effort. I was also successful at doing other things, I actively participated in many major events during the academic year, such as the Open Day and National Independence Day. I was also chosen as the lab assistant of my class and was once the Class President.

I enjoyed my success in the scholaristic field very much that made my mother thought that things taught at school were too easy for me. While I was still in grade seven, she told me that she is thinking of homeschool for me for the following reasons: 1) My grades were always one of the best in school, there was no room for further improvements and that, 2) as a single mother with almost no monetary support from my father, she could hardly afford my school fees; especially when the school does not offer scholarships, even for students like me. So she decided that I could do better with homeschool and we gave it a try with Algebra in the summer right after I finished grade seven. We had a plan to finish as many materials as we could within the timespan of the summer vacation, which was about three months. The textbook was designed to have all materials covered in three years into one big book, and our final goal was to finish the whole book.

We had a very detailed schedule for this plan and everything was in place. According to the schedule, I needed to study two lessons per day for whatever time it takes. Normally, I would first take about fifteen to thirty minutes to go through the lesson, understand the concepts and work out the examples. Then I would ask mum to come into the room, explained the lesson to her in Chinese and a little bit of English, and be ready for her and my questions. After that, I would do the exercises provided in the textbook, check them, and do a quiz on this lesson the next day, and repeat this process for each lesson I was taking. (The total time it takes for me to finish an Algebra lesson never exceeded three hours.) You might wonder why I was the one to teach and not my mum. First of all, mum does not speak English very well and she could not teach me in English as instructed in the textbook. Second, mum and I both agreed that learning from a teacher is a good way (at least it worked well for the majority of students), however, we believe it is better when I teach than when I learn, since teaching requires a broader knowledge than learning. I can also learn a lot when I teach; for instance, I take mum's questions as well as my own, trying to answer them by myself if I can. When I didn't understand or couldn't answer it, I would seek help from ask experts, which is a free website made by volunteer experts from all fields of life joined together to provide help for us. They answer your questions and guide you through it, explaining to you as the procedures happen. Futhermore, they also provide additional online exercises. The exercises I took as I mastered a lesson were 50% from the textbook, part of them are from the set of CD-roms mum brought me as a study guide and the rest of them were found on the Internet.

The testing and grading system I had was very simple; everytime I took a test, my mum would choose the questions on the test from a list of available sources either on the Internet or from the textbooks, then printed it out on a separate piece of paper. I would then set up a time limit, and ask her to be the superviser to avoid cheating. When the time was up, I turned over the paper, gave the pencil to her, and she would give me the answer key and a red pen. I calculated the score by number of questions I answered correctly out of total number of questions and converted it into a percentage. Moreover, my final exam score accounts for 70% of my total score in the class, while the other 30% came from the tests and quizzes I had done throughout the course.

We were very excited that we could finish the book (a three year course) within three months and reached a decision that I should start homeschooling instead of going to a normal school, because homeschool could actually speed up the my rate of learning so that I could go to university earlier, and gain independence earlier.A few days after we had made the decision, mum and I went to school and bought the entire series of middle and high school textbooks except that of Grade 7, which I had already taken, by Holt, Rinehart and Winston, an American publisher for educational textbooks located in Texas. Within the next 2 years, I finished all of them according to the schedule that I set up for myself. (Please see the schedule attached at the bottom of the page.) I was very pleased to have finished my high school work over such a short period of time. After that, I decided that although I had finished the required material, I should take a test to show how well I did for all the courses that I have studied. I registered for an SAT Reasoning examination for May 2007 and studied hard for it, however, I did not do very well and was very disappointed. Later in the year, in December, I tried again, but failed again; it seemed like I was very strong in Math and not strong enough in Critical Reading and Writing, I guess that was the best I could have done considering I had only studied English for 5 years. In January 2008, I took SAT Subject Tests in Math Level II, Chemistry and Biology, and I took another SAT Subject Test in Chemistry, Biology and Physics in the beginning of October this year. I did it because I wanted to show the admission officers that although I am not as strong in literature and grammar, but I am in Math and Science.

The subjects I studied during home school was not only limited to English, Math, and Science. I also studied world history, U.S government, business and computer by taking either courses online and offline. I took world history and U.S government in a free-website called the National Repository, which is offered for any visitors of the website. I also studied business in the textbook we brought from the school, Introduction to Business. The last subject I took during homeschool was computer, I went to a computer institute in my building that offer a wild range of courses from how to operate a computer to how to be a software manager, and took a course in the basics of computer programming, learning JAVA, design simple websites, and applications.

In addition to my home schooling, this year when I went back to my hometown in China, where I met Ms. Zhang, a chemistry lab teacher from the local high school in order to do the laboratory exercises which I could not have done (due to lack of facility) while I was in Dubai. We got together about three times a week for at least two hours at a time, studying Chemistry, Physics and a little bit of Biology, we spent more time on Chemistry and Physics because there were many more lab exercises to do.

Thanks a lot!

YumzxA1 - / 1  
Dec 5, 2008   #2
There is a progrem called WhiteSomke that can help u with Gammers just google it and u can gat a free trial. it helped me with most of my essays. Mostly helps u on small mistakes
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 5, 2008   #3
Then, after I went back to my hometown, I started grade five for half a month, and my mother took me and my cousin to United Arab Emirates to live and study there.

I completed grades six and seven in Dubai National School and received numerous awards during this time -- not only in the academic field but in other fields as well.

I enjoyed so much success in the school that my mother began to think that the curricula taught at school were too easy for me.

I guess you should write "mother" instead of "mum," so that you don't sound like a little kid. Also, try rearranging the paragraphs so that a very interesting paragraph is at the beginning -- to hook the reader. You might want to sum up the essay with a conclusion, paragraph, too.

:)

Kevin
metsfan2044 2 / 1  
Dec 5, 2008   #4
You have a few grammar mistakes. Hey remember always proof-read your work. You will find your own mistakes. This essay was well-written. Good job.


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