Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer, 1000 character maximum).
I know have less than a 1000 character but more then 150. I personally cut out so much detail already. I am very bad with grammar.
Some great Input would help, Should delete or change some info?
- As the president in Kappa Delta Beta (KBD) as well as Students in Free Enterprise (SIFE) for the past two years since returning to college, I have benefited greatly from them. They have shown me the importance of team work and how everyone can learn from each other. Both organizations have given such great team value in me. The first SIFE competition we went as newbie couldn't do much other than ...
As the president of Kappa Delta Beta (KBD)
Both organizations have taught me the value of teamwork
I am the president of both Kappa Delta Beta (KBD) and Students in Free Enterprise (SIFE).for the past two yearssince returning to college, I have benefited greatly from them.
They have shown me the importance of team work and how everyone can learn from each other. Both organizations have given such great team value in me. ---> these two sentences have very similar meaning. you can either combine them or cut one of them.
The first SIFE competition we went as newbie couldn't do much other than your best. We supported each other although we did not place. I learned how to improve base on the experience. I interrupted the skills from SIFE competition towards the Federal Reserve Monetary Policy Challenge for KBD. As the team leader for this challenge. I was glad we got this experience but we found out we were the only two year college competed and place third. Ideally able to achieve is great but to learn and grow from these experiences is even better. ---> i am not sure what you are trying to say in this part. some sentences dont really make sense. please check.
Best Luck to your essay. :)
I change a few things again cause my professor thought it wasn't good enough
For the past two years I have been the president of Kappa Delta Beta a business honors society, as well as Students in Free Enterprise (SIFE). Each of these groups has enabled me to gain leadership and management skills. As president of these two student organizations, I have learned the importance of dedication and perseverance. I enjoy working as a team and have been able to learn a lot from my fellow classmates. On our first SIFE competitions, though we did not receive any titles, our group has taken the experiences to enhance our skills. The tools I have learned as president has enabled me to be successful at many other competitions I have taken part in, such as the Federal Reserve Monetary Policy Challenge. Each experience has molded me into the person I am today, and for that I am grateful.
In my opinion, you have not bad written work, but still need to add some extra ssentences. Because, I also have written such things and about it a little.
yeah but it need to be 150 words or less. I am not sure anymore...
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