Here is an essay I will submit for the Apply Texas Essay A which reads:
"Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you. "
What do you think and how do you think I can make it better?
Pressure Makes Diamonds
We put our helmets on as we start the engines. A strange feeling of happiness overcomes me as we roar past several barn houses in rural Mexico. It's my brother Max and I riding dirt bikes -something we haven't done in a year and a half. So much has happened, and I feel I've grown tremendously between the last time I passed Ejido Longoreńo and now. We stop to rest and I suddenly realize the miracle in front of me: my brother is alive.
August 2005: our lives are changed forever. My brother, who was seventeen at the time, began feeling sick. First it started as a fever, then his bones started to ache, and soon he was bedridden. After several weeks, a number of doctor visits, and various lab tests he was diagnosed with acute myelogenous leukemia. Although I did not fully understand what leukemia was at the time, I was aware that it was a dangerous form of cancer and that it was a very life-threatening disease.
One afternoon my father sat me down to talk. He gave a basic explanation of the disease and what we would do to cure my brother. He told me to be strong, have faith, and help him in any way possible. He advised me that our family life was going to change drastically, and finally, he told me there was a possibility that he was not going to "make it."
I felt the world crash down on me. My first thought was that he was going to die and there was nothing I could do. My brother, on the other hand, took his situation in another light. I'll never forget what he told me one day in Houston while he was getting an IV line plugged in: "I'm not going to let this beat me, we're going to get out of here soon". He was able to take his situation and see it in a way I don't think I could have, and by doing so it changed how I look at difficulties and problems. He realized he was fighting for his life.
My brother immediately underwent a harsh, debilitating, and possibly lethal chemotherapy treatment. Specialists advised us that my brother's prognosis looked bleak. And even in this nightmare my brother was able to keep it together, and focus on the treatment that lay ahead. He was able to look at the challenge, accept it, and fight for what he wanted. Every time I saw him at the hospital, no matter how sick he felt, no matter how incredibly low his chance of survival was, he would tell me that he was going to "win."
After almost a year in treatments my brother was finally in remission. Everybody became astonished at how my brother was coping with the chemotherapy treatments. Doctors told us that his positive, can-do attitude was definitely a factor in his success. His perseverance and outlook towards his affliction have changed how I approach problems and challenges. I have absolute respect and admiration for him because of how he tackled his obstacle.
From this experience I learned valuable life lessons. I learned that life is not always fair. I realized that nothing should be taken for granted, and to appreciate what you have. I now know that life is full of difficult challenges; but if you have the willpower and right approach, you will achieve. I now understand that when we are against a tough problem, we are tested, and realize who we truly are. True hardships shape character, and this one shaped mine.
"Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you. "
What do you think and how do you think I can make it better?
Pressure Makes Diamonds
We put our helmets on as we start the engines. A strange feeling of happiness overcomes me as we roar past several barn houses in rural Mexico. It's my brother Max and I riding dirt bikes -something we haven't done in a year and a half. So much has happened, and I feel I've grown tremendously between the last time I passed Ejido Longoreńo and now. We stop to rest and I suddenly realize the miracle in front of me: my brother is alive.
August 2005: our lives are changed forever. My brother, who was seventeen at the time, began feeling sick. First it started as a fever, then his bones started to ache, and soon he was bedridden. After several weeks, a number of doctor visits, and various lab tests he was diagnosed with acute myelogenous leukemia. Although I did not fully understand what leukemia was at the time, I was aware that it was a dangerous form of cancer and that it was a very life-threatening disease.
One afternoon my father sat me down to talk. He gave a basic explanation of the disease and what we would do to cure my brother. He told me to be strong, have faith, and help him in any way possible. He advised me that our family life was going to change drastically, and finally, he told me there was a possibility that he was not going to "make it."
I felt the world crash down on me. My first thought was that he was going to die and there was nothing I could do. My brother, on the other hand, took his situation in another light. I'll never forget what he told me one day in Houston while he was getting an IV line plugged in: "I'm not going to let this beat me, we're going to get out of here soon". He was able to take his situation and see it in a way I don't think I could have, and by doing so it changed how I look at difficulties and problems. He realized he was fighting for his life.
My brother immediately underwent a harsh, debilitating, and possibly lethal chemotherapy treatment. Specialists advised us that my brother's prognosis looked bleak. And even in this nightmare my brother was able to keep it together, and focus on the treatment that lay ahead. He was able to look at the challenge, accept it, and fight for what he wanted. Every time I saw him at the hospital, no matter how sick he felt, no matter how incredibly low his chance of survival was, he would tell me that he was going to "win."
After almost a year in treatments my brother was finally in remission. Everybody became astonished at how my brother was coping with the chemotherapy treatments. Doctors told us that his positive, can-do attitude was definitely a factor in his success. His perseverance and outlook towards his affliction have changed how I approach problems and challenges. I have absolute respect and admiration for him because of how he tackled his obstacle.
From this experience I learned valuable life lessons. I learned that life is not always fair. I realized that nothing should be taken for granted, and to appreciate what you have. I now know that life is full of difficult challenges; but if you have the willpower and right approach, you will achieve. I now understand that when we are against a tough problem, we are tested, and realize who we truly are. True hardships shape character, and this one shaped mine.
