Unanswered [2]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 7


"The Problem of Prejudice" - Common App Essay



twinsbaseball 2 / 8  
Oct 17, 2010   #1
Please evaluate a significant experience and its impact on you.

I've never been one to deny the truth, so I'll put it bluntly - I am a white, upper-class teenager living in a community that lacks both ethnic diversity and cultural awareness. As a result, I have witnessed very little discrimination and had few encounters with blatant racism. In fact, for most of my young life, I remained blissfully unaware of the significant problem that prejudice still poses to society, and I was even naïve enough to believe that I didn't have stereotypes of my own. But my recent enrollment in a class called Race and Ethnicity served as a much-needed slap in the face, opening my eyes to a significant aspect of my 2009 trip to Guatemala that I had previously failed to recognize. Until then, my memories of Guatemala consisted of scream-filled zip-lining excursions, picturesque mountains, and the mystique of The Lost City. However, it was the inquisitive nature of this new class that made me realize it wasn't what I had seen or done in Guatemala that was so imperative to my cultural understanding - it was how it had felt to be a minority as a white person.

Our first assignment for Race and Ethnicity was to step into the shoes of a member of any minority group and write about how life might be different for that person. In that moment, as I stared at a few eraser shavings on my paper, it hit me - I had already been there. My trip to Guatemala flooded my memory, and instead of remembering volcanoes and coffee plantations, I recalled how it had felt to pass two strange men on a dark and vacant cobblestone street. I didn't raise my hand to say hello as I might have to a fellow American. I steered around them, avoided eye contact, and walked a few paces faster. Why? Because I was the minority. Subconsciously, I sensed that they had the upper hand and might look down on me because I wasn't like them. In one class period, I realized that my discomfort was caused by feelings of inferiority that had been unfamiliar to me until that point, when I transformed from a member of the dominant group to a small Caucasian girl walking the dim streets of Guatemala with only two others for company. And yet, it was only a fleeting glimpse of what people on the margins of American society experience every day. While I could never claim to know what it feels like to fight a constant battle against prejudice, I most certainly can express my sincere desire to eliminate cultural misunderstanding.

In short, a single revelation in Race and Ethnicity is solely responsible for my newfound passion: to break down racial barriers. Had I not enrolled in the class, my eyes might never have been opened to the rare opportunity I was given in Guatemala, and I might never have recognized my own cultural shortcomings. Too often, I had fallen into the easy way of thinking; too often, I had willingly grouped an entire race based on a stereotype that had gone stale; and too often, I had overlooked the devastating effects of prejudice on American society. Today, I strive to see members of all races as unique individuals, without associating them with any stereotype that their group may carry. But as I said, I've never been one to deny the truth. I am far from perfect, and I still struggle to remove the bias in my life. That's the beauty of my revelation - I am growing and changing, continually challenging my own assumptions. I truly believe that my experience in Guatemala as a minority and my cultural enlightenment in Race and Ethnicity have forever changed the way I see the world and all those who live in it.

I think that might be the key to eradicating racism from society - combining knowledge with cultural experience. After all, one can have immense knowledge, but lack the experience to apply it; likewise, one can have vast experience, but lack the knowledge to learn from it. Only when both come together does something truly momentous happen.

Take it from me.

OP twinsbaseball 2 / 8  
Oct 18, 2010   #2
Any and all advice is welcomed.
faby - / 2  
Oct 19, 2010   #3
awesome, awesome paper! i love th raw confessions. it's well written, educated. one suggestion: start off with "i am a white, upper..." it has a powerful impact and makes the reader (me) want to continue. good job :)
simbamaxxed 5 / 59  
Oct 20, 2010   #4
Really good job.You managed to highlight a universal problem and how it relates to you personally.It's well written and really gutsy.I like...this could also be a good response to the prompt about diversity,although it's equally fitting under the topic you have chosen.
OP twinsbaseball 2 / 8  
Oct 20, 2010   #5
Thanks so much! I'm a little worried that I haven't checked the right category. It could go under a significant experience, the importance of diversity, or a topic of my choice...I just don't know which one to go with.

I was hoping it would come off as pretty honest and a little brave. I'm applying to Carleton and Macalester, two highly competitive schools, and I want to make an impact.

Thanks for your feedback!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Oct 21, 2010   #6
I most certainly can express my sincere desire to eliminate cultural misunderstanding.

I hope you change this so that it says something more specific that you want to do, something realistic.

Also, I really think the term upper class should be eliminated from that intro. It is not relevant, just distracting.

This essay is excellent. I can't think of any other suggestions to make, other than that it would be better if you could make it so that the whole thing is indirectly about your career intentions. Know what I mean? No matter what career aspirations you have, it will be best if you can make connections to this theme of experience + knowledge = understanding/tolerance.
zengrz - / 89  
Oct 24, 2010   #7
Excellent essay!

The essay is well balanced between your observations and your inner thoughts. The entire essay flows naturally, just like a movie.

Just a minor correction.

I think that might

"That" may be a bit ambiguous here, try to reword it.

G L~


Home / Undergraduate / "The Problem of Prejudice" - Common App Essay
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳