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'promoting Chinese culture' - UC Prompt #2


LoveTotoro 1 / -  
Nov 18, 2012   #1
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

As I stepped onto the school bus, a boy from the second row asked me, "You a communist?" I immediately blurted out "No" and averted my eyes, my cheeks flushing and my heart pounding. As a recent immigrant from China, I was bewildered by such a politically-oriented question from someone of my age. How dared he make such an assumption based purely on a cultural stereotype! Staring out the bus window, I realized that he simply lacked the knowledge of my culture and way of life, and the best way to combat his misunderstanding was to educate him and my peers in general. Therefore, I founded the Chinese club at our school with a friend of mine.

Wedging a steamed bun between chopsticks at the Chinese club, I adroitly lay it on Jane's plate. Gingerly poking at the bun with her own chopsticks, Jane exclaimed, "Wow, this Chinese dumpling looks so cool!" I bit my lip to suppress laughter and informed Jane that it was called a "steamed bun," or more specifically, xiaolongbao. Wondering how this tender-skinned dim sum could be called a "bun", Jane had always thought a bun was something that surrounded a hamburger. Urging me to repeat the pronunciation of xiaolongbao, Cathy, a Latina girl, made several attempts, but the word still sounded like "sherlorbor." Since there is no rolling tongue in Chinese, her Spanish "R" sound made her pronunciation strange. Nevertheless, her unremitting repetition of my pronunciation motivated me to recite the word over and over again until she finally said it almost perfectly.

Established with the mission of promoting Chinese culture, our club quickly became a bridge between American and Chinese cultures through discussions about Chinese history.
"I don't know any Chinese history except the Disney movie 'Mulan,'" Lulu complained.
"Didn't Chinese people invent fireworks?" Mackenzie inquired.
Obvious and naive as these questions appeared, those curious inquiries from our club members showed a favorable sign that we were actually approaching our Chinese club's ultimate mission, combating misconception and learning from each other. "Does anyone else know something about Chinese history?" I added, knowing that I would still have a lot of work to do to deepen my members' knowledge of Chinese history, but excited at the same time about my peers' interests toward the topic. Enlightened by my explanations of Confucianism to the history of blue-and-white porcelain, our club members were further exposed to Chinese history and heritage. The Chinese silk fabrics and relics of broken porcelain pieces that I brought in allowed them to get a touch of the real Chinese history.

Having tripled in size from the original twelve members, the Chinese Culture Club has now become the Asian Culture Club and I am currently co-chairing with an Indian student. Far beyond our original mission of establishing the connection between the Chinese and American cultures, our new club has branched out to reinforce multi-cultural connections between the diverse ethic groups in my high school. The contentment I obtained from acting as a group leader and raising cultural awareness among my peers inspire me to continue representing my culture and connecting with fellow learners of other cultures.
emilyc28 5 / 33  
Nov 18, 2012   #2
This sounds more like an essay introducing what your Asian Club is like. Try explaining the YOU part in detail. How has this affected the person that you are?
weeyizhi /  
Nov 23, 2012   #3
The contentment I obtained as a group leader raising awareness among my peers, inspires me to continue representing my culture and connecting with fellow learners of other cultures.

You'd wanna remove that comma.
One of the best essays I've seen. However, you should go deeper about what you learned and explain why you feel proud about it. Definitely better than mine lol! I can't give any criticism. Good luck =)
Lauratwilight 6 / 10 1  
Nov 23, 2012   #4
Dear Watingforgodot,
I really liked this essay!! I think it is genuine and truthful :)
You have done a good job in answering the prompt!
However, for the third paragraph, I think it would work better if you can relate it more to yourself, so as readers, we can see how proud you are about your achievements

I completely agree with what Weeyizhi said :)
Keep it up!!
Good luck
Lauratwilight 6 / 10 1  
Nov 23, 2012   #5
I don't think this will answer the prompt that well because you mainly tells us about the club, instead of showing us how the club has shaped you as a person !

I think it is very important that you inform us readers about your role in the club! like the difficulty you overcome when forming a club at school? or something along that line!

What do you think?
But I like the topic :)
Best luck
simibug13 3 / 6  
Nov 24, 2012   #6
i loved your essay and i think you followed the prompt very well. my only advise is to a quote or something that an american said to you about how joining the club was a positive experience for them


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