Hi there, this is my first essay I worte in English, it's for multicuture scholarship, I tried my best but I believe there's still a lot gramma mistake or other sort of mistake. pls help. thank you so much.
unique chinese culture and art
My mother is an oil painting artist. I never met my father but base from what my mom told me, he is an artist as well. I grew up in a small community which the whole area been occupied by artists. Different studio door by door. People live there, create all different type of visual art there. My mom always takes me with her when she visits her friends. At that age, different art studio means different smell. The smell of turpentine, pigment. The smell of different type of ink. The smell of the mud and welded iron. My favorite place is my uncle Yin's studio. He would always give me a brush, ink and Xuan papers(traditional Chinese ink painting paper) then let me draw things. There is a Chinese opera theater in the town. My best childhood friend Ming is a little actor play a martial roll there, we always hang out together practicing the martial art and Micheal Jackson dance.
My family travels a lot, I traveled almost the whole country in China with my mother, visited different places, met different people, different cultures. There are so many diverse arts in the different region. All the memories helped me a lot while I pursuing art also my career in my life. My major in college is Oil Painting, I have painted and drawn countless Asian figures, I like to observe and research the different facial structures on the different race. Like Asian tend to have smaller eyes are because Asian eyes have the fat pad on the eyelid to protect eyes from the strong light. I also have chosen Line Drawing in Traditional Ink and Brush Style as the elective course in college. I believe these experiences would help me a lot whenever I encountered design Chinese culture related object in the game industry. I have been a teacher after college. I teach kids all the traditional art I know about, like Chinese kirigami, Chinese shadow puppetry, Huaiyang clay dog(one special traditional black color sculpture covered with bright color paint. Actually it has all kind of shape not really limited to dogs).
After I got my job on a cruise ship as a photographer, I traveled more than 20 countries, got so many friends all over the world. I realized the western world knows less about China as Chinese knows less about the western world. For example, only a few people know Chinese characters evolve from drawing. I hope I could promote Chinese culture to the world by any sort of art. There are so many misunderstanding when people talking about China. Chinese culture is so complicated and it's really hard to define by one form. There are 56 formal ethnicities and lots unrecognized ethnicities with all different cultures in China. Every time when people talking about Chinese culture, mostly that just some culture of the specific region of China. For instance, people think chi-pao represented the traditional outfit in China, but actually, that's only the Manchu ethnicity's traditional outfit which is considered the minority. Every ethnicity in China has their own traditional outfit. There are so many fascinating things I could explore from the vast treasure. Nowadays, more and more Chinese elements have been added in all sort of arts like movie and video game. I have got my Post-graduate Diploma in Film Studies while in college. I did a lot of research and watched almost all the Chinese action movie. I have the advantage of the kung-fu fighting action design or create the eastern environment in game industry. I consider myself an observant person, especially on visual art. The knowledge of the traditional Chinese art and Chinses culture would definitely help me create the unique artworks.
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Shen, before I can help you with the revision of this essay, I need to know what kind of scholarship you are applying for. After that, it would help if you tell me the type of essay that you are being asked to write (personal statement, statement of purpose, motivational statement, etc.). Finally, I also need to know if you have a prompt requirement to respond to and if there are any word requirements for the essay. Otherwise, I will be moving in the dark and we may not be able to edit the essay into a usable form. From the looks of it, you are writing a personal statement. However, without the information I am asking from you, I can't really tell if you are on the right track with your response or if you need to change the whole essay. Please share the additional information I need from you within this thread as soon as you can so that we can get to work on improving your presentation.