Fashion Institute of Technology admissions essay
Hi
I've been out of school for quite a while, and am not sure if this essay is competitive enough. I'm pretty old so I have no time to lose, and everything is dependent on my essay so detailed corrections and advice would be very appreciated.
Cheers!
TOPIC: What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT? Why are you interested in the major you're applying for? This is your chance to tell us about your accomplishments, experiences, and activities.
BY THE WAY THAT IS THE QUESTION I NEEDED TO ANSWER
The Puzzle Piece that is F.I.T.
What I believe makes me the perfect candidate for FIT is that I have always been a strong minded free thinker and high achiever, that now yearns for the proper guidance and education that will help me pursue my career goals. I believe F.I.T's rigorous curriculum is intended for students who are highly focused and are ready to hone in on one's talents. With all the priceless resources that FIT has to offer, I know I can become a force to be reckoned with, as I take my education seriously, especially now at the age of 29.
Growing up in a strict traditional Korean household, I've disappointed my mother more times than I'd like to count. Unlike my older brother, I was more of a wild child, locking myself in my room to draw instead of doing homework, or cutting up my clothes to fashion myself a wardrobe I was forbidden to buy. Somewhere down the road, I felt so suffocated that I dropped out of my junior year in high school, obtained my GED, and moved into a friends apartment. At 16, the sudden freedom I had given myself was like I was reborn again, only this time I could be me, unrestricted.
After dropping out of high school, I spent the next 9 years supporting myself while working in the retail, restaurant, and music industry just trying to find my life path. I've had some pretty exciting jobs in the music industry, from sound engineering in some prominent recording studios to traveling across the country with a world renown band as a sound monitor's assistant. Sometimes looking back on my experiences, I cannot believe I've done half the things I've done. I attribute all my experiences to a fire that burns inside me, which enables me to chase my passions, see where it takes me, and see it through. I have no past regrets and am extremely proud of myself for taking charge of my life and holding my own at an age where legally, I was not considered an adult.
After years of exploring my interests and finding out how I fit into this world, I was able to see a clear path to my future while attending BHCC. I knew I wanted to make a difference in the world by creating real and lasting change through environmental politics, but didn't quite know what to focus on. It wasn't until I took an environmental science class, that things became clear for me. Being part of the Commonwealth Honors Program, I had to complete 3 honors components in the classes of my choosing. I chose to write a paper on the effects that the fashion industry has on the environment. After completing this project, I learned there are many facets in the fashion industry that needs attention in regard to environmental policing. This is when my passion for Fashion Law became a reality.
I have decided that F.I.T's Bachelor program in International Trade and Marketing is perfect for what I am trying to accomplish which is to ultimately attend Fordham University to study fashion law. Though the environmental aspect of fashion law is still in it's infancy stages, I am determined to forge the path for myself and future generations who have the same passions.
In working with fashion entrepreneurs, textile researchers, and advocating for more sustainable manufacturing processes, we could birth a whole new way of designing and creating clothing. With transformative scientific and technological advancements becoming more cutting edge, future possibilities are now more attainable than ever. There are so many aspects of Fashion Law that I am excited to absorb, from design licensing to foreign policing, and everything in between. I believe all topics are interconnected like most things in life are, and this will help to shape new federal regulations that will hopefully take into account the environment.
In conclusion, attending F.I.T. is the puzzle piece that completes the first small image of a 500 piece puzzle, and I am excited to see if the puzzle can be completed in my lifetime. If given the opportunity, I know the education, and networking opportunities alone will become the core foundation needed for my future in fashion law.
Dear Pleasehelpessay, here are some advices for you, feel free to correct me,
Well, from my personal opinion, it is better to write it in passive forms so that it can become a formal essay
After dropping out of high school--> change it into "from"
I spent the next 9 years supporting myself while working in the retail -->
when I still worked, I had been supporting my life by myself
we could birth a whole new way of designing and creating clothing -->
We could create a new generation of designing and clothing
... Law that I am excited to absorb --> better use "learn"
I hope it helps your doubt about your writing,
Regards
Hi pleasehelpessay! I have some advice for you:
Based on my experiences, you should not repeating the question given on your statement. For example:
What I believe makes me the perfect candidate for FIT... should be
I strongly believe that I am the perfect candidate for FIT because... (sell yourself here, put the biggest achievement you have had, your strong skill, and the confidence but do not too arrogant).
With all the priceless resources that FIT has to offer should be
With all the priceless resources offering by FIT...
I spent the next 9 years supporting myself while working in the retail, ... should be
I spent the next 9 years supporting myself by taking any works helped me to continue life, for instance I worked in retail, restaurant, and music industry.
Hopefully you can be one of the candidate! Cheers!
