Please stop by and have a look on my personal statement. If possible, would you please correct my mistakes to help it better? Since UCF is my top choice, I put my real effort and don't want to miss it. I absolutely appreciate your favor.
Here is the requirement:
Your personal statement should be be no longer than 250 words each or a total of 500 words for both statements
1. How has your family history, culture, or environment influenced who you are?
2. Why did you choose to apply to UCF?
And this is my essay:
In today's world and civilization, knowledge and experience are never to be apart when participating in particular activities and are assumed as two of the most important qualities human life. Apparently, people strive to reach the highest level of knowledge as they can and practice more in their life to gain experience; it is my goal as well which creates my personality as a socialite.
Growing up in a developing country and currently studying in the U.S, I have been affected by both the cultures of Asia and America. Each culture has its own lifestyle that cannot be compared in terms of which may be better. The only thing, I can tell, is that knowing what we need to adopt from the different environments should be a concern. Vietnam was a colony of the Chinese, French, and Americans for very long periods. This painful history has turned into an extreme pride for Vietnamese when we reflect on the exploitation and then the victory of the nation's independence. Being affected by the study the history of my country, I am so proud to inherit s personality that values humanity and the unity to fight for victory. That is also my passionate side. I find myself interested in providing my neighborhood and community with happiness. It does not sound somewhat huge but simply to help people meet their needs and to comfort them is to achieve a good life.
I am not an expert in math, calculation or generally working with numbers. In turn, my personality bias is towards passion for mankind. Therefore, hospitality is what I have been chasing, so far, since my motto is "helping others meet their satisfaction leads me to happiness." Hence, I have been looking up so many institutions which offer this program and finally picked University of Central Florida (UCF) as my top choice because of its professional hospitality program. Furthermore, the Rosen College of Hospitality Management (RCHM) is located in the heart of a tourist and entertainment hub, I believe this advantage will bring me many benefits by offering me opportunities to experience internship offered by the professional hospitality industry. Moreover, the more I explore this department in UCF, the more excited I am to get into UCF because I have found out that RCHM also offers the Event Management program which rarely is found in other universities and is my desired sub field as well. To ensure my choice, I already had some talks with advisors and some formers students from UCF and gained total approvals because they all confirmed that UCF should be right for me.
In order to enhance my ability to contribute to society, I am satisfied with my choice of participating in the hospitality industry as well as gradually perfecting my personality. As long as an individuals' life is guaranteed, society is better off. With the help from UCF, I hope I can achieve my goal.
In today's world and civilization, knowledge and experience are never to be apart when participating in particular activities and are assumed as two of the most important qualities human life.
In today's world and civilization, knowledge and experience are never to be apart when participating in particular activities. They are assumed to be two of the most important qualities within human life.
Growing up in a developing country and currently studying in the U.S, I have been affected by both the cultures of Asia and America.
Since I grew up in a developing country in Asia, and I am currently studying in the U.S., I have been affected by both cultures.
It does not sound somewhat huge but simply to help people meet their needs and to comfort them is to achieve a good life.
It doesn't sound like it is a large accomplishment, but to help comfort people and meet their needs...
I'm not quite sure what you were trying to say there.
You have a good start! Good luck.
