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I want to be raised by Dinosaurs-Brandeis essay-Feedback



bball93 2 / 3  
Jan 15, 2011   #1
Prompt- If you could choose to be raised by robots, dinosaurs, or aliens, who would you pick? Why?
250 word limit I have used up 241. Any feedback is appreciated. Its due tonight (sorry for the short amount of time).

Dinosaurs are a diverse group of animals that were the dominant terrestrial vertebrates for over 160 million years, from the late Triassic period until the end of the Cretaceous. Though not used colloquially in this sense a "dinosaur" may also refer to a person who holds ancient or world values.

This is the definition of dinosaur that I identify with. I am rooted in ancient values such as keeping my religion, Judaism, very dear to me. Following the old ways of my Syrian grandparent is something my entire family continues to do. Such as the respect we have for our elders and the responsibility placed on us from a young age. In this sense I would like to be raised by a dinosaur.

However, the question still remains as to why I chose to be raised by dinosaurs as opposed to aliens or robots. Since I altered the definition of a dinosaur its only fair I do the same for aliens and robots. Aliens can also be used to refer to immigrants, and though exposure to multiple ethnicities can be an advantage in several ways, living under people from another country might mitigate the strong nationalism that I feel for the USA. Furthermore being raised by robots, people who are systematic, calculating, and devoid of emotion, would not provide the love and care that a family provides. Consequently, I feel that being raised under dinosaurs would be the best for me.

braiden992 - / 18  
Jan 15, 2011   #2
hmmmm...because the essay's 250 word cap is really limiting, it's probably best that all 250 words are directed towards your selection, and not defining the others. This also means eliminating, "However, the question still remains as to why I chose to be raised by dinosaurs as opposed to aliens or robots."

BOL...interesting prompt and response.
EF_Susan - / 2310  
Jan 24, 2011   #3
To have correct grammar, it is best not to end a sentence with a preposition:
This is the definition of dinosaur that with which I identify. with .

Since I altered the definition of a dinosaur its only fair I do the same for the others. ---Ha ha, very clever. Not many people would come up with something cool like this.

I feel that being raised under dinosaurs would be the best for me.---yeah, unless they eat you.

Great job! :-D


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