The incline is a mile long trail that gains 2000 feet -a giant set of stairs inching its way up the side of a mountain. From where I stood the incline looked like a snake curling its way up the side of the mountain. My nerve almost deserted me; it looked impossible, how could anyone climb all those steps? At first it was easy; at 5 A.M. the summer air was still cool and it was almost peaceful to climb the beautiful trail surrounded by tall trees, boulders and wild flowers. The sun came out; the air became hotter and hotter; I was out of breath and dripping sweat. Every step I took hurt and I could see that other people were out of breath and struggling. I learned to move one step at a time, rest for a split second but to keep myself moving. There came a point where my lungs burned, I was poring sweat and my feet ached- I desperately wanted to stop, to give up right there. But I realized that there was no going back because I was too far up- there was nowhere to go but to the top. I looked back and my stomach heaved, my palms became sweaty- I had never been up so far before. I could see Colorado spread out before me; the little towns of Colorado Springs and Manitou, the mountains that surround them. I could just see the top, but I didn't change my pace- one slow step after another. My heart was pounding but I had done it - I had reached the top of the incline. When I sat down and surveyed the world in miniature below me. I realized that climbing the incline was just like life; it is hard, but moving slowly and one step at a time, I could do it. I could reach the top of any mountain.
"I could reach the top of any mountain" - a significant experience, achievement, risk
"i realized that climbing the incline was just like life; it is hard" is a good metaphor but it's sort of vague so if it's like life then i think you should write a personal experience you've overcome and relate it to your essay. since the question is to evaluate you should write the pros and cons, the cons being the struggle you faced and the pros being how you overcome your struggles and its effect on you now :)
Can u check it for spelling and grammer?