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'Readily prepared' - Most significant challenge you've faced? (MIT)



yara 3 / 4  
Dec 6, 2012   #1
I need help please, tell me if this is to the point and answers the question :
Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation?

, also punctuation and grammer help please! (200-250 words)
thank you very much

Readily prepared, passport in hand socks for the cold nights to come, not only was it my first travel alone, I was going to Germany for an astronomy camp, just thinking about the nights I will spend observing those mystical Arabic-named stars using a telescope and developing images in a dark room made me ecstatic.

Leaving on my favorite holiday, Ramadan was hard but luckily it was a time of meteor showers.
I got off the plane too consumed in my own fantasies, probably did not help that I am a Pisces, busy patting myself on the shoulders proud that I had managed to reach Germany on my own, I was too naĂŻve to notice that I had boarded the plane but my luggage hadn't, until I was the last one waiting in my terminal.

Panicking I had no idea what to do, the terminal was huge and empty, I did not want to tell my parents so not to worry them, and the fact that the last train to the camp was a couple of hours away only made me more alarmed, I contacted my travel agency and learnt that my luggage was still in a security check back in Israel, on another continent.

I was told to buy what I needed and the agency will cover the costs, and there I was alone in Germany ready to go on a shopping spree for a months' worth of clothes, what more could a fretted girl ask for.

Pahan 1 / 1824  
Dec 6, 2012   #2
grammer

It is spelled grammar. :)

Readily prepared, passport in hand socks for the cold nights to come...

This sentence is too long. Try to break it down.
It was the first time of my life that I had to travel alone. I was going to Germany for an astronomy camp and my mind was filled with images about the nights I will spend observing those Arab-named stars.

I believe what you have written is a good life experience for this essay. But I think it would be better if you write how you dealt with it.

Hope my suggestions help. :)
ll931110 7 / 15  
Dec 6, 2012   #3
How it ended? Things still seemed a mystery to me. Perhaps you may need to cut down the storyline a lot (particularly, the first two paragraphs) and spend more space describing yourself. In the end, you haven't even attempted to answer the second question.

I may sound rash, hope you won't mind :)
admission2012 - / 475  
Dec 6, 2012   #4
Hello,

You did not answer the question correctly. What you did here was just tell a story. The purpose of this essay topic is to see how the applicant manages touch situations. You did not give the admissions committee any sense of how you are under pressure which defeats the purpose of this question entirely. -AAO

Hope this helps.


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