"My recent mission and God-oriented trip to Germany" - Westmont Essay

Laubach 5 / 7

Nov 27, 2010 #1

Any advice is welcome :)

Prompt:"As an interdenominational Christian college, Westmont both nurtures and challenges you to deepen your faith. Please tell us in 150-200 words why you would be seeking this type of experience."

Growing up in a Christian home and attending church regularly, I have repeatedly heard of the importance of surrounding myself with fellow believers who would both challenge and support me. The truth of this advice was not fully revealed to me until my recent mission trip to Germany. While in Germany I worked with many youths, some believers, but most unbelievers. The lack of a church for the believers to rely on for support and encouragement was debilitating to their relationship with God and the depth of their faith. The struggle that those students faced revealed to me the value in a Christian community. It is important that I immerse myself in a God-oriented and faith-driven community, especially in my college years. It has always been my desire to continually grow in my love for Christ and deepen my relationship with Him. My trip has furthered my desire to do this as I now realize that I find my greatest satisfaction in serving God.

gracedrift 7 / 34

Nov 27, 2010 #2

You might talk about your own experience in Germany as a 'believer' (was it difficult to be around 'nonbelievers'?) as well as how the trip furthered your desire to deepen your relationship with Christ.

kawaiikoinu 2 / 6

Nov 30, 2010 #3

Thanks so much for reviewing my paper earlier. Here's returning the favor :)

I really do like your essay, it's simple and to the point. I feel like the focus of the essay should be more about you and your experiences rather than split between the German youth and yourself - you're the one applying for the school, not them.

You do answer the prompt somewhat, but I have a feeling you can expand more on your ending and touch more upon why or how you came to the conclusion that serving God is your deepest satisfaction. Good luck and best wishes!