Recession - most difficult things you have ever done or experienced? (BYU app)

The recession of 2008 was difficult for millions of Americans. Many people lost their jobs, and people could barely support themselves, let alone their families. When I was twelve my parents had stable jobs. We thought we were the lucky ones, but all of a sudden everything changed.

We had always been a two income family, with both my parents having what seemed to be permanent careers. My dad had been with PG&E for over 20 years and my mom worked for Mother's Cookies for 17 years. October 7, 2008 our world changed. One morning my mom went to work and the atmosphere had definitely changed. My mom's employers filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, effective immediately. My mom was "horrified" and afraid. She was suddenly out of work for the first time in her life. How was she going to help support her family?

For a long time we had to budget and give up many of the luxuries we had before, that we took for granted. Eventually my mom found a new part-time job working for UPS, making a quarter of the salary she made before. We had to make some adjustments, but we were all so grateful that she was able to find a job when others couldn't. As the years have passed, I have been able to see the blessings that came from this trial. At my mom's old job, she made more money, but she was on call, worked weekends and got off work late. At her new job she goes to work very early and is home by ten every day. This has been such a blessing to our family because now we are able to spend more time together. We were able to prevail as a family and appreciate what really matters most.

The recession of 2008 was difficult for millions of Americans. Many people lost their jobs, and people could barely support themselves, let alone their families<-- is this true? do you need proof, seems to general.. When I was twelve my parents had stable jobs. We thought we were the lucky ones, but all of a suddensuddenly everything changed.

We had always been a two income family, with both my parents having what seemed to be permanent careers. My dad had been with PG&E for over 20 years and my mom worked for Mother's Cookies for 17 years. October 7, 2008 our world changed. One morning my mom went to work and the atmosphere had definitely changed. My mom's employers filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy,which was effective immediately. My mom was "horrified" <-- why the quotations? and afraid. She was suddenly out of work for the first time in her life. How was she going to help support her family? Why not just write she was worried about how she was going to help support her family, it's more direct and concise

For a long time we had to budget and give up many of the luxuries we had before, that we took for granted.<-- maybe make this two sentences Eventually my mom found a new part-time job working for UPS, making a quarter of the salary she made before. We had to make some adjustments, but we were all so grateful that she was able to find a job when others couldn't. As the years have passed, I have been able to see the blessings that came from this trial. At my mom's old job, she made more money, but she was on call, worked weekends and got off work late. At her new job, she goes to work very early and is home by ten every day. This has been such a blessing to our family because now we are able to spend more time together. We were able to prevail as a family and appreciate what really matters most. What really matters most?

I used the green to point out inconsistent use of writing numbers, stick to one format

You can present this with more feelings and emotions. Then the reader would take more interest in following what you write.
Before the year 2008 we were a happy lucky family. However, things changed all of a sudden with the worst recession that hit million of American lives.

Now tell your story... You need to arrange the flow of your ideas in a more logical order. There are many ideas that get repeated in your response.