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"to rejuvenate my African culture" Essay question help, transferring


Nasir2009 4 / 14  
Dec 17, 2009   #1
Hi, Please help me correct, suggestions about my essay. I really appreciate it. Thanks

I currently attend Morgan State University. It is an HBCU where I have been able to rejuvenate my African culture as an African American. I have also been able to grow with the black community. But, my reasons for transferring are because of the lack of diversity, growth in the institution and coursework challenge at the university.

I have spent a semester now where I am surrounded by black students from all over the country. With this in mind, I have not been able to constantly meet new people from different racial backgrounds that should be necessary for a successful university. At the University of Virginia, students from different race, culture, and religion are all available on campus. It is a wonderful experience to have the students brought together to study, make friends and have fun all as one. UVA not only attracts minorities but the graduation rate for African Americans have been the top of all public schools as noted on Wikipedia.

Morgan State University has declined in financial funds due to the recession and lack of private funds. I experienced this when I did not originally include the college onto my fafsa that caused me to apply late for financial aid. I made a call to the university and was told that they had run out of grant funds which was in May! My parents are now forced to pay more than they should be paying for my education. The University of Virginia is ranked ninth among the top 20 schools with great financial aid. The program meets 100 percent of student's demonstrated financial need according to the Princeton review. This would be able to attract any type of student to the university.

Also, even though I am studying in the area I am most interested in which is electrical engineering, the coursework and expectations are not challenging here; I do not wish to settle and cruise through the rest of college. I have found that University of Virginias program would best prepare me for a position in the engineering industry. This is because I would be able to experience it first hand through internships and study abroad programs. This also puts me inline for a great resume. By taking advantage of this, I would be able to prepare myself directly for an excellent job. UVA has an exceptional program that sets it apart from other universities. I would be proud to be a student at University of Virginia.

Thanks,

Nasir Memudu
OP Nasir2009 4 / 14  
Dec 18, 2009   #2
Thanks you sir..for being harsh. I really want to get into UVA and I need a solid essay. Here i have modified the essay and hope u could give me suggestions on it. Thanks


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