Hey guys this is my supp for Lafayette college. They only allow 500 characters(!!) so I had to really condense everything. I'm not sure if this is personal enough so pls help me take a look. Also, I'll deeply appreciate it if you guys can look over my grammar - I usually have a problem with them! Thanks!!
I have always been interested in religion and history - in particular Judaism and the effects of the Holocaust. I want to attend Lafayette as I will be able to interact with Professor Robert Cohn, whose research interests coincide with my passion. Lafayette's focus on internationalism will allow me to study abroad to gain exposure - something that will help develop my goal of working at an international NGO in the future. As a Harry Potter dork, I cannot wait to join the Quidditch Club as well!
Thanks for looking through my essay. Give me a shout out if you need me to look over yours too. And Merry Xmas to all! =)
Hello,
I'm very worried about the quality of this..the information seems very jumbled together. Also, this information more information would be extremely helpful..maybe mention specific courses within the major's department. Mention courses outside of your major's department that you could take that is relevent to your passion. Mention how Professor Cohn's interests coincides with yours. Mention how you would partake in research, what facilities you would use, etc. Mention a specific internship relevent to your concentration.
I have always been interested in religion and history --in particularly Judaism and the effects of the Holocaust. I want to attend At Lafayette, I would converse with be able to interact with Professor Robert Cohn, whose research interests coincide with my passion (state your specific passion) .
Lafayette's focus on internationalism will allow me to study abroad to gain exposure - something that will help develop my goal of working at an international NGO in the future. As a Harry Potter dork, I cannot wait to join the Quidditch Club as well!
I hope this slightly helps!!
Hey Sagar thanks! Your suggestion is helpful! I'm having trouble putting down everything I want to say since it is only 500 characters, which means my essay can't even be more than 100 words. But thanks and I'll work on it!
Wow, I had read the 500 character limit as "500 word limit". Yeah, that make an extremely big difference now. If I were you, I would stick to talking about one subject and reinforce it with strong points. Talking about one subject with several points is better argument than talking about two or more subjects (internationalism, quidditch) with fewer points. Maybe talk about Judaism strictly, and what you can do with your interest at Lafayette College. Dismiss the point about Harry Potter and Quidditch Club, as that just makes your overall argument weaker.
Alright thanks! I think I will do that it sounds so much better lol. I shall post the revised version here soon.
Hey guys this is my revised edition. Pls help me look through it. 500 character limit is killing me lol. Thanks so much!
Lafayette will satisfy my love for history and religion. It will be a dream to interact with Professor Robert Cohn, whose research focus on the Holocaust and Judaism coincide with my interests. Lafayette's emphasis on research will also give me a chance to pursue research, preparing me for my goal of graduate school. Furthermore, the internship and study abroad options for history majors are enticing. The family at Lafayette will truly provide a home where I can both grow and make an impact on.
Lishan
Lafayette will satisfy my love for history and religion. It is a dream of mine to interact with Professor Robert Cohn, whose research on the Holocaust and Judaism coincide with my interests. Lafayette's emphasis on research will also give me a chance to pursue research , (kind of awkward & redundant sounding with the use of research twice in the setence) preparing me for my goal of graduate school. Furthermore, the internship and study abroad options for history majors are enticing. The family at Lafayette will truly provide a home where I can both grow and make an impact on.
Overall it was nicely done. LOL, the world limit nearly killed me myself, but I mastered it. Good Luck!
Haha Zhoe I know what you mean! I wonder why they give us such a restriction! Most schools allow like 200 words lol. Thanks for your feedback! Yeah I was looking over that part too. Shall just delete the 2nd research and go on to talk abt grad school.
Lishan
Yes that makes a whole lot of sense.
Lafayette's emphasis on research will also, prepare me for graduate school.
Don't know how that did not come for me.
I know right, I think its so unfair because I have A LOT to say about Lafayette, but I guess they want to see how concise we can be while answering the question.