"the Republican Party of Virginia" - GMU- Significant contribution to your community

From the Presidential Election in 2008 to the present, I have spent many hours in October at the Albemarle County Republican Committee Headquarters, a local branch of the Republican Party of Virginia. I have volunteered in the election campaigns of John McCain, Bill Bolling, Ken Cuccinelli, Bob McDonnell and, most recently, Robert Hurt. My work as a volunteer consists of making telephone calls to Virginians in the fifth district, surveying them about the upcoming election, and promoting them to register and vote, particularly for Republican candidates. Usually, I begin working the first week of October and volunteer at least twice a week for two hours. As the nation has grown increasingly politically apathetic, the most significant contribution I have made to the Albemarle County community through my volunteer work has been promoting political party participation and the utilization of the right to vote. The phone calls from headquarters act to inform residents about the candidates in upcoming elections and encourage them to get involved. Volunteering at headquarters is enjoyable because it allows me to participate in politics and exercise my right to be a member of a political party while simultaneously permitting me to encourage other Virginia residents to do the same. Through experience I have learned that this volunteer work is rewarding, no matter the outcome of the election.

Hi,

Some of your sentences are very long. Try to be more concise. Some of your meaning is lost in the clutter.

To start,

Since the 2008 campaign, I've spent many October house at the Albermarle County Republican Committee Headquarters. I've volunteered in the campaigns of John McCain, Bill Bolling, Ken Cuccinelli, Bob McDonnell, and Robert Hurt. As a volunteer, I make telephone calls to Virginians in the 5th district...

Good luck!

maybe you should say how it affects your life and what specific knowledge you gain from it.