"restaurant was destroyed, NY" - Williams Supplemental Windows Essay

Dont really know what to do for the Williams supplement essay. Is this any good...at all...

Imagine looking through a window at any environment that is particularly significant to you. Reflect on the scene, paying close attention to the relation between what you are

seeing and why it is meaningful to you. Please limit your statement to 300 words.

Ask someone to describe looking out of a window, and they can describe to you a thousand different views, thoughts, and emotions that they associate with the action. I myself recount a moment when I was young and visiting New York City for one of the first times. After riding the elevator up a skyscraper, at the time an adventure in itself, I gazed out of the restaurant window out on a view of the city. To this day I remember being drawn to the tiny people on the sidewalks below rather than the majestic buildings. The people below scurried around like ants, all concentrated on their own private objectives, while I surveyed them from high above. I remember feeling a sense of disconnect, how I was focused on them, and they not on me.

I try to cherish this memory and reflection, as sadly I cannot revisit this particular view. The restaurant was destroyed on September 11th, 2001, in the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center. When I heard of the attack, my mind flashed back to that scene of the city and of the people, and I was deeply saddened by the event.

1. I think you can delete the first sentence. It seems unnecessary.
2. I feel like the the prompt wants you to delve into what this scene means a much more deeper level. The fact that you felt sad because this restaurant no longer exists I won't deny but it seems trivial for this sort of an essay. It seems like you were going in a certain direction with the last sentence of your first paragraph about feeling disconnected. Did you realize something about you and the greater world maybe?

Overall, your scene seems fine I just don't know why this scene matters at all.

Although you express your true feelings, it's a bit depressing. Maybe you can add some hope, your aspirations to change the situation into your essay.

I'll take out a few words:

Ask someone to describe looking out of a window, and they can describe to you a thousand different views, thoughts, and emotions that they associate with the action. I myself recount a moment ...

Very good observation: The people below scurried around like ants, all concentrated on their own private objectives...

my mind flashed back to that scene of the city and of the people, and I was deeply saddened by the event. (At the end, here, you should give one more sentence to relate this feeling of being saddened back to the first sentence, where you acknowledged that different people have different associations. That way, the essay will be full and focused.