Review and Criticize my College Essay introduction

Which one is stronger? Or pulls you in more. Be harsh! :)

Intro #1.
Option #2: Discuss some issue of personal ... concern and its importance to you.

College. Writing a college essay is stressful and infuriating. How do these administrators expect my seventeen year old self to actually write about who I am when I don't even know who I am. I have not the slightest clue. So let me make this easy for you. Don't pick me. Why, you ask? Going to college isn't on the top of my "To-Do" list. Believe it or not I haven't traveled outside the country.. shocking I KNOW. I haven't gotten my permit, I haven't gambled in Vegas and hell I haven't even dyed my hair. I don't know what it's like to have fun. Who does? I don't. Sadly I've been brainwashed with all these horrific habits they've forced me to do over my adolescent years. You know, do your homework, read this chapter, raise your hand, the unforgettable "Can I go to the bathroom" where as the teacher never fails to respond "I don't know CAN you?". I asked a question to which you respond with a question.. yes please do continue to confuse me. Now I've tried to rebel, oh trust me I have. But under the circumstances of being known as the sweetest, quiet, most polite student - I've controlled myself. However I just realized.. here's my chance, this is it. So forget the neat little heading on the top and the golden rules of grammar. So please ladies and gents, enjoy the show and for heaven's sake try not to fall asleep.

Intro #2.
Option #4: Describe a character in fiction, ... or a creative work that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.

Every little girl dreams of being a wealthy beautiful princess, a graceful pink ballerina, or an adored talented pop-star. I however had no such dreams. My dream was simply to marry a beast. A big, mean, hairy beast with glossy yellow fangs bigger than the average human hand. And no I am not implying bestiality! I'm referring to the classic magical Walt Disney film - Beauty and the Beast. Because honestly, there is no better way to show that beauty comes from within.

Please Help me out here!

Both are fun essays :) BUT I prefer the second one (option 4) because it's more positive, at least in the end. I like the first one, but more as a high school essay and not a college entrance since it gives the sense that you are an average complaining teenager (which we should really hide when it comes to college essays). Remember you are not showing the university who you are, but who you can become. Show them what you are capable of (in the future) in your essay.

Truly I prefer the first one. Although the second one is more positive, the first one draws me in because I've been in all of the situations to which you are referring. Colleges will like the ironic turn that this essay seems to take. "Don't pick me" will catch their attention immediately. You said be harsh, so I won't lie. I'm a guy, and when I looked at your second prompt, I resigned myself to an essay that might be very well written (because, from what I've seen, you're an excellent writer), but just not one that I would be excited about reading. I'm not even an admissions officer, and I'd still like to read the rest of that first essay.

First off thanks so much for taking the time to read my intro! And I completely agree, I think I won't be doing Option #4 (the second prompt) mostly because I want to write about a topic that contains both genders entertained. I'm glad I got a male's opinion on this, thanks a-lot.